This Poem was Submitted By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-07-24 21:07:01 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Little Tears

Oh, little child of beauty Bright faces wet with tears Suffering though each day Fears that never go away Oh, little child, I cry for you To see your hopeless crisis I feel the sadness deep within It haunts me through the night Your Mama died in ragged bed An sister may not live too long No food to drive away the hunger Do you understand what's wrong? Prayers unanswered, lost in despair There's no sparkle in your little eyes There's no comfort for their tiny sighs They cast a dark shadow over mankind Come to me I want to hold you tight I shall never forget your plight Love of mankind shall restore hope We must stop these falling little tears 

Copyright © July 2007 Paul H. Roefs


This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-08-07 07:59:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This poem is one of close meaning to anyone that loves children. In it is the capture of their value, even that of their "tears". We cannot fail to search the metaphor you've created in the extra-physical of your use of "tears" and come to be, as readers, thoughtful to the delicate as it pertains to children. The question, "Do you understand what is wrong" has, as its high priority, the observance that children search themselves for blame in all things painful. Something, if we care, we must cushion. Today a poem like this is difficult to appreciate in light of the bombasticism political correctness makes of everything. However, you artistically reach above it and succeed. On small thing, "(An) sister may not live too long"...either this is meant as the conjunction, and, or it is a modifier form not in agreement with its noun. "...may not live too long" is an idiom that strikes me as a little out of tone with the somber tenor of the rest of the poem. Very slight considerations, however, to a poem that touches so sensitively on the most valuable asset we have, children. JCH


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-03 09:23:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Paul, You bring to the plate a poem that depicts tragedy of the young and abondoned child. I like the tight structure used within this piece and presentation. What is difficult for me was the question within wishing that you had not asked it for I probably am wrong on what I see and would have liked it spelled out better for this limited reader...just a thought. This question forced me to pause losing track of the direction you were taking me. Still a well written poem. Thanks, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-01 00:15:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76190
Little Tears........well presented as your words flow allowing images , feelings, emotions, to be seen and feltthroughout. Feels like you are presenting the pain so many live with each day of their lives.......starting with the little child who in turn if fortunate to survive what life has to offer finds they child facing the same. What can we do to change things around we ask? So many ways to go but we all know if we do not change the way things are it will one day be way too late to even try. \ Come to me I want to hold you tight I shall never forget your plight Love of mankind shall restore hope We must stop these falling little tears listening to the inner voice speaking to me gives me the hope I need to know I am not alone in this walk through life and that my God is standing right by my side........ Thanks for posting, enjoyed it very much even with all its sadness. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2007-07-30 10:21:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Paul, This entire poem brings “huge” tears” to my eyes and you have expressed the pain and suffering of any small one who suffers to reality. We live in such as “box” and don’t truly see the outside world. I mean that from our own homes. Babies, children, and adults are suffering all over this world, to include the US. The stanzas are so well phrased, follow in a perfect pattern, tell a story that will and must impel others to take view. This could be a song and I would certainly consider talking to someone about a music buff looking at this, getting the melody for it, and submitting it to one of your favorite person to see if they will take it on. I cried when I read it; I can only imagine how people will react to this as a song. Very sad but very well done. My best, Debbie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-07-30 01:35:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Paul, And we are all still little boys and girls inside. We are all miserable, having our trials.......but at least we're able to know and have choices. Wee ones are not so blessed. Mankind must start loving and treating others as brothers. Your poem is a plea to do just that! We must treat our most vulnerable people differently. Good job.....very emotionally filled. You show your humanity. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-07-29 14:25:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Dear Paul. Wonderful write, very touching - and heartfelt. The reader feels the compassion the writer is expressing, to someone, lost, alone & hurting. Empathy, and the need to comfort such, is a beautiful thing. I can completely relate to this poem - as some of my life - fits in to what you have written. I lost my mother, this past January in hospice care. Now, my older sister has been admitted to the same facility - just six months later. The read itself, flows well, with rhyming and nothing to sift through for the true meaning of what you are saying. I like that. One thing, is just the last line of the poem. It didn't roll off of my tongue, like the rest of the piece. I realize when writing, we want to express the thought the best way we can, and I for one, haven't perfect any type of poetry style yet - just that, otherwise you have an emotionally packed piece worth reading. sincerely, Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-07-25 15:22:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
Hi Paul....This doleful poem is almost too painful to read. I may have completely misinterpeted your intent but to me this little child refers to all the children caught in a war that has no hope and no sign of relief. "Your Mama died in ragged bed an sister may not live too long" is a gut wrenching line. I can't imagine the horror of all the children who are caught in war or famine or disease. You have some good end rhymes that keep this piece moving along and flowing with ease. Your word choices are excellent and the sentiment in the lines is overwhelming. Your last line is so poignant and gives just a tiny ray of hope to this melancholy poem. Well done. Glad to see you posting here again! cheers....Marilyn
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