This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-07-30 18:18:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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I Wish

If I could grant wishes what would I do? Spring is a treasured gift, lazy warm days gleeful gardens birds in love, and us. Even surprised widows deep breathe. Summer would be welcome, hot ribbons of air flip magnolia leaves trees stretch to touch blue. We could languish in repose, as one. Autumn would be very nice a warm hearth, rapture hot apple cider and cinnamon tubs of apples, bobbing. Arms that encircle and sooth. Winter makes a good gift soft warm counterpanes skaters arm in arm, skimming snowflakes falling, silent. Two lovers keep flames of fire alive Only God grants a wish but I would if I could,     wouldn’t you?      

Copyright © July 2007 marilyn terwilleger

Additional Notes:
An old poem I stumbled upon....


This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-08-11 05:39:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
You bet I would!! And I love your wishes. So unselfish and so beautiful. You make each season a joy. Making life wonderful. Yes, I truly like your wishes. Rene'


This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2007-08-04 23:23:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.60000
Hi Marilyn, This piece is a gem.....great imagery and structure....the juice of these words trickles through...the taste is sweet to savor....the desire to grant a wish is a prominent feeling...yet so is the silent acceptance of not being able to...those are rights, exclusive to God. One of my favorite posts this month...excellent !! Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-03 09:07:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, I like the seasons as you represent them and the presentation. My only difficulty with it is the beginning and end do not seem to flow with the heart of the poem. Maybe it is just to abrupt in the change from wish to seasons. Remember this is only my thought and I might be in left field. Thanks for sharing and I did enjoy reading this. Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Nancy Ann Hemsworth On Date: 2007-08-01 20:42:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.89474
I like this Marilyn, the way you use and describe each season as part of your wish you would grant if you could. my favorite stanza has to be #2 "Summer would be welcome, hot ribbons of air flip magnolia leaves trees stretch to touch blue." this is so original, hot ribbons of air is really nice not only as a visual but also the thought of the touch of the air, and love the stretching of the trees..nice personification.. I like as well the lines between that finish your thoughts with the human response to all of natures miracles...my favorite one of these is "Even surprised widows deep breathe." very nice piece and also very sensual and great for all the senses. The questions at the first and end of this serve as well placed brackets that frame your thoughts and keep the reader wondering themselves..what they would do.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-01 00:05:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76190
an old poem filled with so much love.......it is so nice of you to post it for us to enjoy . Like the way you pose the question "If I could grant wishes what would I do?" the image that comes to my mind is of a young woman in love and wanting to much to please her man in many ways of life. Enjoyed the way you used the seasons to bring forth a time of good feelings, love, peace, security, yet most of all I loved the way you wrapped it all up giving only God the power to grant wishes.......well done poet and again it is nice to read something you wrote some time back. Making my list of special reads for the month. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-07-31 22:25:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn, This is such a delicate uplifting poem, full of whistful longing and has that soft cotton candy dreamy quality which I thoroughly enjoyed. Each snip-it contains such vibrant images that one has to stop and linger for a moment in the aura you create with your delicious descriptions. I especially like: Spring is a treasured gift, lazy warm days gleeful gardens birds in love, and us. probably because I tend to be a spring person at heart...new growth/renewal, fresh, alive. I also like your "two lovers keep flames of fire alive", great line. As for your close, I believe that we can create our own magic/wishs with the help of God. A red rose for you sweet lady. Best, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-07-30 22:00:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I wonder if you believe that "only God grants a wish"? The imposing view of hope and beauty throughout the poem sort of belies the conclusion. I guess, who planted the tree, who made the cider, who is viewing the magnolia leaves? I love the "two loves keep flames of fire alive". It shows much the theme of your soul these last years. For me, I guess in light of your verse, the smile outweighs the moments lost. A nice verse Marilyn, very nice.
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