This Poem was Submitted By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2007-08-07 12:22:50 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Watcher (revised) I watch them come
shoulder
to shoulder
in shimmering anticipation
we form
the cast of millions
each
an integral part
of the whole
from the clouded
distance
in time
and space
they move
colorless monochromatic
shadows of the lost
legions of warriors
diverse disunited
ragtag apparitions
of senseless death
drawn to cluster
as one
last pass
in review
for we watchers
on the invisible
path
fabricated between
our parallel
queues
their silent liquid footsteps fall
quietly echoing
the quickening
cadence of my heart
these who have fallen
and bled out life
for freedom's ring
bring
a stinging
tear to my soul
in unison
generation
after
faded generation
of some sad mother's child
finally
understands ubiety
they no longer
are alive
but now travel this road
called Glory
heading
home
harmoniously
at the hands of
watching angelic guides
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Copyright © August 2007 Jana Buck Hanks
Additional Notes:
for timeless time....
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-09-04 00:43:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.28571
Jana,
It is terrible to watch our young soldiers go to war and die.
It is usally senseless death which ar for money making endeavors.
I am so dissolutioned with our government/our world.
I don't think they headed home harmoniously.
I think they probably died terrably and for no actual good idealic reason.
We have beed duped/over and over.
I feel great empathy and sadness for the families affected.
I wish everything were so wonderful but my heart says differently.
Your poem is written well.
I pray for peace.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-23 10:29:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jana,
Yes the legion of warriors given up for the rest of us, we should all show thanks for their contribution to our freedom. Like the flow and the presentation giving the reader a feeling of moving along. Very well thought out piece that gives one time to reflect and reaches depth on the road.
Well done, Thanks for sharing. Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-08-11 17:36:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
WOW! I was really into your words here. Deep and true. generation
after
faded generation
of some sad mother's child
finally
understands ubiety
they no longer
are alive
but now travel this road
called Glory.......BREATHTAKING!!!!!
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-08 05:30:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Emotionally packed.....this one is a winner for certain. Your words flow so well and as they do bringing forth one image after another. Taking us back in time, reminding us when our young husbands, brothers, friends served their country well, the many wars over the span of time which took so many lives and the sadness of the hearts left behind. So glad to see you put the angels in to guide them all home for I so believe in and love angels and know they are with us always......I do not recall having the pleasure of reading the original post but I might add this one needs no changes or additions for it is perfect as you have been blessed once more with your gift from God. Take care, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-08-07 22:00:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Jana,
This has to be one of the finest tributes I have ever read. We need more of this to help us hasten in our own thoughts and memories of the glorious sacrifices made for us. The liquid foot steps, awesome line... and tears of praise and thankfulness, may non of us be the sad mothers who must remember. No nits, I wouldn't change one thing...bravo and kudos my friend....perfection from your accomplished pen.
Namaste'
Lora
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