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This Poem was Submitted By: Jana Buck Hanks On Date: 2007-08-08 13:14:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Youth

Barren boards of darkness keep me free of experience. I cry crystal tears of want from smoky sky blue eyes. Unexpected moonlight seeps between my fingers, marking my languid steps. Silence, my underworld comrade meets me at rest, exploring my innocence. I am awake.

Additional Notes:
poem sketching using the following word group: innocence, experience, explore, awake, ; unexpected, moonlight, silence, rest ; darkness, comrades, meet and underworld when I finished this it sort of sounds like puberty awakening.......LOL...what say you?

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-29 09:22:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Jana, What say I, love the crytal tears that show they can be fragile. Not living life to its fullest not necessary youth. We are all innocent to some degree for we never stop learning. Like the words selected, like the presentation and movement between stanza's. A very well written piece that to me does not just reflect youth. Thanks for sharing. Thomas

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-08-12 00:44:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
LOL, I can see where you can relate this to puberty awakening...haha, however you still used alot of imagery and metaohors in this piece making it a very enjoyable read. Rene'

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-08 19:25:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I say.......beautifully expressed.........Youth, really fitting title as well. Your words just flow poet, the images created bring back many memories of days long ago......I cry crystal tears........from smoky blue eyes.......again beautiful ........the days of innocence are not long enough ; visited with two granddaughters earlier this morning, one six and one ten. Hate to think of the ten year old so close to her teen years already .......thanks for posting and sharing once more. God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-08-08 16:11:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Jana....never heard of poem sketching but it apprears to be a challenge and even without your notes I would have thought this an excellent poem full of images that are lovely. I love your opening line...barren boards of darkness....a line I wish I had thought of! I cry crystal tears of want....I think people of any age can relate to this line...I know I can. I suppose you could interpete this poem as being about the very young....they are always in want of some kind or the other. But one might say it is about loss as it has such a melancholy feel to it. I also like....my languid steps and exploring my innocence....both which cause me to reflect on the meaning of this poem. It is full of mystery, evocative and well written.....brava....and a red rose at your feet! Blessings....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-08-08 15:51:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Jana, This is simply delicious, choice verbiage that creates wonderful images both of youth,puberty and awakening..ah to be innocent and dream...yet--awakened is grand also..*smile. Wouldn't change a thing, no nits here. I especially liked your last stanza and then your closing. Namaste' Lora

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