This Poem was Submitted By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-08-20 01:41:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Release Me It's time for me to let go
Of this pain I've come to know
Little did I see to late
I was destined to this fate
Falling tears of memories past
Just how long must sorrow last
A broken heart is meant to heal
And once again start to feel
Grieving soul, troubled mind
I've served my sentence, done my time
Darkened skies, clouds of grey
Make this hurt go away
Step by step, one by one
I'll climb this ladder rung by rung
Yes, I'm ready to begin
To love, to live, to breathe again
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Copyright © August 2007 Rene L Bennett
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-09-07 20:29:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene,
Tight and very sage, I like it...in neat concise verbiage you've addressed the subject from start to finish and didn't skip a beat...I agree... ready to begin
To love, to live, to breathe again
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-09-04 04:27:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene,
Your poem is very courageos,sad and very well written. I know of what you speak, the screams,
voices that try to rule, the pain that drives you to utter fatigue, the absence of tender
feelings, and it all never ends. I use to pray for sleep to come, at last a moment of peace. I
walked alone in my hell, with no hope. 15 years of my life But, I made it and I have been
out of that hell for 22 years. Your will servive and you will be okay. I'm not going to offer
any out-house psychology, but what you have written tells me you understand the situation. Keep
writing. My love, Paul
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-08-29 04:19:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95000
Release Me......reminds me of a song....and let me love again...........nice title and presentation of the emotions felt within one's heart at the loss of someone we love and hold dear to us.......then too it might be meant or used in broken relationships.......you have touched upon more then one place to go. The rhyme works so well, your words flowing bringing forth images and emotions created from the flare of your pen.
I know you are a wido Rene and I am sorry for your loss. You are so young though it only seems right for your pain to ease enough for you to begin to feel , love and live again. Enjoyed the images created in the closing stanza of you climbing that ladder one step at a time till you not only see but feel the sun shine upon your face as though the Lord has kissed your cheek and told you all would be well. Thanks for posting and sharing once more. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-08-21 16:48:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Rene'....this poem, even though melancholy, has an uplifting message. No matter how down or depressed we become there is always a way to find ourselves again. You have demonstrated that here and done so very poetically. In your line..."little did I see to late"...it should be "too late"...I hate typos and sadly make enough of my own! "I've served my sentence, done my time" is such a revealing line and one I can so realte to! Your last line just sums up the entire poem and sends a good message to the reader...."To love, to live, to breathe again"....very well done!
blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-08-21 09:47:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene,
Like the rhyme and thoughts presented. My only suggestion and a minor one is the format of the poem tends to run and not pause for deeper thought. If you broke this up to four stanza's it would smoothe it out for at least this reader. Maybe I am the only one this effects just a thought.
Your showing of the costs, the mistakes might also go a little deeper for I see the surface not what is crying out from within.
Enjoyed reading and like the rhyme, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-08-20 20:50:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
Rene,
Call me a glutton for punishment...I'll try to review you again.
All of us have trials, some greater than others by far.
I have mine and to me I find it difficult at times to keep my balance.
But balance I must or I am no good to anybody else.[especially myself!]
So even if the sky falls upon my head, I'll survive.
I get this feeling in your poem......
Your strength encourages your loved ones to follow your lead.
I like your poem rhyming, I think it flows well this way.
you are right, you have done your time!
I'm proud of you.
I know it is up and down for awhile still, but lets hope for more and more ups!
This is a quite hopeful....write.
Yea!
Dellena
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