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This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-09-01 19:43:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Thought Push

There is a motion, shoulder to hip, tight little spin. Then The wispful look lingering just long enough. Bringing on Troy, the captive of Helen, bringing on a burlap man to sleep on satin. Drudge me dreaming to awaken and not find No fragrant imprint lined to part dream and me. While I, still lay at sea and think the sky was meant for thee.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-10-01 21:06:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
James, It is nice read another romantic's poetry. This is a lovely poem and I find no fault, except that I wish you had made it longer. There is very little that compromises beauty and the sea. Nice work. Reads nicely, with good rythme and your imagery is appropriate to the theme. Thanks, Best to you, Paul

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2007-09-13 09:55:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
JCH, I can return the favor of a delight with the beautiful indirection and texture of this piece. From the coingage - "wispful" (wonderful) - to the burlap man on satin, and on through the alliterative and rich "[d]rudge me dreaming" . . . And the powerful metahporical subtext: we (men) can't give birth to flesh and blood but we can give birth to thought (poems). And, mutatis mutandis, the feminine muse does make us pregnant, yes? Great to come back and find this from you. MSS

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-09-12 08:34:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
This is beautifully written with soft touches and a superb ending. Your words just take hold, bring forth images...even I have never slept on satin sheets......dreams are a nice part of our being.....especially when they are great ones. Thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-09-10 18:54:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
James...this is beautiful! I wish I felt qualified to give a more thorough critique. This abounds with longing, passion, and vivid imagery. One can 'feel' every line penetrating the mind, and reaching right for the soul of the reader. The distinction between dream and waking is subtle, yet confirmed in the line "...to part dream and me..." This left me with a long sigh at the end, as well. Such tender sentiment... Masterfully penned, James, like only you can do. KUDOS! Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece! Always, Mary

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-09-09 02:00:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, You make me want to ask myself which is sweeter; the dream or the memory and having answered neither since they are like apple and oranges-- which shall I savor-- both I think for each is it's own perfection and offers it's own reward. Wonderful word choices in this offering, just enough softness to lend to the romantic nature yet strong enough to stand firm in commitment and some day I will grow up and write like you do if the fates so allow. Kudos, this is superb, one of those that you want to tell everyone about and say "you have to read this". Thanks for posting this most enjoyable poem. Best, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-09-08 10:54:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi James...the romantic part of your personality is showing! The comparing of Troy, Helen and a 'burlap man' is amazing. Waking up after being immersed in a dream (sensual or not) and finding you are still alone can be somewhat depressing. There are so many beautiful things one would like to share with the person of their dreams but once 'they' are gone that wish becomes like another loss. Having said all that...this poem is not depressing instead it is wistful and very well presented....well done, my friend. Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-09-03 21:25:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This is really beautiful. You write with such imagery. I read this twice. I love your ending! Breathtaking! As if the sky was meant for thee. BRAVO! Rene'

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