This Poem was Submitted By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-09-03 21:44:26 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Death Waiting for Death
But He never comes
Though I know
He's visiting someone
He once knocked at my door
But I wasn't home
Yet, when He left
He wasn't alone.
Instead He visited
My lover, my friend.
Then He tried
To visit again.
But again I was gone
So He went next door
And visited grandma
Then came back once more
Rearing His head
With anger and hate
Missing me again
But again sealed my fate
For it was Mom
Who answered that door
So He took her
To even the score
So, now here I sit
And wait for that knock
The one I've heard
but never got
I know He's out there
visiting someone
and I'm still waiting
to be the next one
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Copyright © September 2007 Rene L Bennett
Additional Notes:
A few years ago, my husband, grandma and mother all died in a 2 week period of each other.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-09-10 18:58:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Rene'
This is heart wrenching, my friend. It tears at the soul of the reader with clawed fingers! Your words are strong, poignant, and well chosen. It overflows with raw emotion...anger, frustration, sadness, loss....it's all there, wrapped in words for us to bear. My heart reaches out to you, my friend. No one should have to bear this burden alone. Thanks for sharing and letting us take some of that "weight" from your shoulders. Brava!
Always,
Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2007-09-07 20:56:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Rene,
I can’t believe all this happened to you in that time span and you are sane. That is more that most ever would have to endure. The poem is written with such soul and even with the trauma I endured, I could never take mine and compare. You have endured the most tragic events and have survived. How can I tell you how you inspire me. Your write with Death being at you’re door, but I believe life is what is going to be, as you have so much to give. I would imagine bitterness would take in, but you don’t sound as if you are in that state. I admire you more than you know. Death is a “door-knocker†that we never truly will ever understand, but I believe you have undergone this for a purpose we may not comprehend at this point in our lives.
Death can come at any moment, yet if we fear it, it will consume us. You have so much to give, and never give up on that. Many depend on you’re strength to get them through even one day. I am so proud to say I have read you’re poetry, the depth and profound elements it has played just on me. You have the ability to express, through poetry, the intense heart of one who has gone through so much. I am amazed at you’re writings, and in awe of you. I know many have gone through so much trauma, but I can hardly believe you survived all of this. I still have such intense feelings about my own mother’s death, which is a totally event in of itself, but to endure what you have, the ability to express all of this, and know it is so therapeutic for you, I can’t say enough good things about you. You have my admiration forever.
With love,
Debbie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-09-07 20:33:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Phew! You took my breath away with this steady easy read, so poignant and well penned. You've actually left me speechless which is a hard task. Thank you for this read and for the eloquent story told.
Best always,
Lora
PS Don't be in such a hurry to answer that knock at the door.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-09-07 20:04:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
It is no wonder this one is so powerfully packed with feelings and emotions. To have lost so many in such a short span of time....how very sad. I recently lost my mother in law, and tomorrow we will lay her to rest near her husband. This has been emotionally hard in itself. I am so very sorry for your loses Rene......The Lord must have been in need of special angels........the words you have used to create this one flow nicely and rhyme very well.......the pictures created further jump out and grab you....and I can only hope and pray that your own pain has lessen since this all took place. God Bless, Claire
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