This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-09-15 00:23:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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My Goodbye

“No.” my first thought of the day then more of the same. “No” means to escape the incredibly cruel fate,  That’s been served to spill over off life’s plate. “No.” this can’t be right, three family members gone from sight. “No.” again and again till exhaustion takes over and the crying begins. I’d like a cup of poison and a pillow for my head. But I won’t drink to please the devil, I won’t follow those that are dead. “No.” my heart screams to my soul then more of the same. “Shaun, Mom, Sharon,” help me find my way through this pain. “Oh God have mercy”, wake me up, wake me up, turn back the clock. I’m afraid I may stop breathing from this gross amount of shock. Mom wasn’t the same once the tumor was found, Six months later she went Heaven bound. Captain 6090 to Chief at Hope Hose, My beautiful son through the ranks he rose. My sister Sharon a life long nurse Never stood a chance against the cancer curse. All three have left me. I feel so alone. I know not how to walk at best, After laying these three angels down to rest.

Copyright © September 2007 DeniMari Z.

Additional Notes:
This is my first attempt at writing after being devastated by the loss of three of my close family members. My mother passed Jan. 07, my beautiful son Shaun, age 29 on Aug. 6, 07 and my only sister Sharon on Sept. 6, 07.

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-10-02 16:27:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Deni....this is such a soulful poem and it breaks my heart to read it. I am wondering what happened to your son. From what you have written about him I would guess he was a Fireman....so is my son. My heart just aches for you....why in the world should anyone have to endure this pain. We will never know the answer to that....on this earth anyway. You have written you pain into the words of this gut wrenching poem and done it very well. I have prayed for you and I hope it has helped some but only time can really do that totally. Keep writing....it helps. Blessings....Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-09-18 04:08:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
DeniMari, I am over whelmed by what you have written and the sadness you have shared with these eloquent words. The first stanza prepares the reader that this dreaded experience is so powerful as to nearly destroy the author's life. I feel so very helpless with words to comfort you in your time of need, but the tears that are trickling down my cheek are for you, as I endeavor to critique you work. You have made me more alive by what you have written, because my losses seemed dwarfed by what I have read here. You are a person of great strength to endure such pain and be able to write about your most difficult life experience. Your line,"Oh God have mercy", wake me up, wake me up, turn back the clock." This line is very powerful. It reminds me of the biblical reference, "Father, take this cup from me." We all have to live through times of great heartache and no one escapes the pain and sorrow. Your extended family will hopefully fill the voids created by the loss of your Mom, Sister and your son. It is our faith the sustains us. The imagery and clarity of your words are in keeping with your theme. The cadence adds to a smooth read and each line draws the reader into your thoughts. Thank you for posting your poem and I am very pleased to see you are writing again. God bless you and yours, Paul, a.k.a. DonPablo
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-09-17 21:03:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
DeniMari...This is just heart wrenching, my friend. Your words carry so much pain and emotion. So much for one soul to bear, this message is evident in this painful poem. The word "No" emphasizing that throughout this piece. <y heart goes out to you, dear one. I shall keep you in my heart and prayers. Know this, DeniMari...You are NOT alone as long as we can read your words and respond to you. It must have been very difficult to pen this, but it is an integral part of the healing process. Again, my friend, my arms are around you and the candle will stay lit. Thank you for sharing, and allowing us to bear some of this pain with you. Much Love, Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-09-15 08:04:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.85714
This may be your first attempt at writing since the deep losses you have sustained my friend ; your words certainly let us feel your deep unending pain and suffering. To lose mother first then son and sister seems most unbeareable to me........the heart is heavy with grief. I am sure though they walk with you each day, they are still with you in spirit and will help you over time ease the pain you are in. The Lord certainly has you by the hand as you are His child and He is a good Father to us all. Words can never ease your pain but please know my prayers are with you always. Keep writing, your words will heal your soul. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-09-15 06:41:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Deni, My heart cried as I read your words. (especially after your email) I know these feelings all to well. I remember the screams in my head, the hole in my heart and the loneliness in my mind. My heart goes out to you friend! I am here anytime you need. And I mean this. Wishing you a gentle healing, Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-09-15 02:00:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oh Deni, My heart just shattered as I read your poem and all I want to do right now is hold you while you cry and somehow make it better for you, or just less painful, to sit and just be there if you need someone. Since I can not be there I do know that your belief will sustain you, you aren't alone and three new angels are watching over you. Your poem says it all, so much anquish and yet so much courage you show. We are all here for you in thoughts and prayers. God Bless and keep you. Lora
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