This Poem was Submitted By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-09-22 08:58:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Alone In A Crowd

There are strangers all around me Everywhere I go Still I keep searching To find someone I know They ask how I'm doing Just to be kind Not wanting the truth So I tell them I'm fine Gently I smile Nodding my head How should I feel My family  is dead People avoid me Won't look in my eyes Don't want to see truth Where my pain lies I feel so secluded So out of place Searching the crowd For a familiar face I want someone to listen I need someone to hear The screams in my head Screaming with fear Yet, no one is left For me to turn to So I'm all alone Still searching  For you

Copyright © September 2007 Rene L Bennett


This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul H. Roefs On Date: 2007-10-05 04:22:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Critique , " Alone In A Crowd": Oct 5, 2007 Rene', You've got me crying again with your words of truth and reflection of those who have not learned how to bring comfort and compassion to others, specialty their friends. I am saddened by the empty words our friends regurgitate, when all we need at this most devastating time in your life, is love, kindness, someone t listen to you with understanding. Before I go on, I want you to know that through my tears I read you're your words so well written, with very deep insight and emotions. Your imagery is appropriate to your theme and I love your staggered rhyme scheme. Your poem is a message to perhaps get people to look at how the react to those in difficult times, struggling with heart breaking feelings. I ask myself during times of despair, why are my friends and love ones avoiding me and why can't they show me some attempt at understand my pain. Rene' you have so very much to offer the world, because you understand the mortal pain place at your door, that which the black wreath of death hath wrought. If I only new the words for you, the words of everlasting love and kindness; I would say that it is your great love of family and theirs for you, that will change your losses into eternal triumphs. Because of what you are you will feel better in time. I feel that there are so few people who love deeply, honestly, faithfully and unconditionally, a person such as you, who feels the meaning of life in your relationships with others. Their loss brings a powerful and meaningful tare in the mind, heart and deep fibers of ones being. Regaining our sense of well being is difficult at best. I am not trying to explain away your pain, for that would be very unkind of me, but I want you to know that I care and I am listening to your words through your poetry. As a friend, I want you to know that I care very much how you become stronger in dealing with your life. I will continue to read and comment on your work and I will walk with you spiritually in prayer. Thanks again for another great work. God bless you. With love, Paul


This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-10-02 16:39:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Rene... My friend, this screams with sadness and longing. It reaches out and grabs at my heart, as I can so relate to your words. This is packed with intense emotion and fear. Every line drips with it. So much feeling presented here, and of such a personal nature. The poet "exposed." Know that as long as you are writing it out, you are healing. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, so that you may be delivered from this darkness soon. Thanks for sharing this most personal work with us. I know it must have been a difficult one to pen, indeed. My best always, Mary
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-09-27 17:16:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.70000
Hi Rene'....this poem brings a tear to my eye. My husband died in October (I think I told you that) so this time of year I feel especially vunerable. Every word you have written is like a stab to the heart...mine is beginning to heal but I fear you still have a ways to go. Alone in a crowd may be a cliche but it is so apt here. You did an excellent job with this piece. I like the form you used....short lines that flow as liquid down the page. Punctuation is not necessary here. Very well done! Blessings....Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-09-24 10:39:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Nicely written poet with words that bring forth your emotions as they are......you feel so alone and that is so understandable with all you have lost and I must agree it is easier to tell someone you are fine then go into honest presentation of how you are really doing. Some just don't want to know or they don't know how to deal with it for they might never have loss as deeply at one time. Like the format you used and the presentation of Alone in a Crowd fits the title just fine. I pray each day is easier then the one before for I do know and understand how difficult it is to lose someone you love let alone three of them so close together. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-09-22 21:26:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene, This is good because your exasperation of it all comes through! I think if you would separate it every 8 lines ending with 5 in the lasy stanza... It is so heavy to think of a break helps. And every eight lines is a completed statment. People want to say hi but dn't really want to hear of problems, otherwise they would have to do something. And they don't want that! We have lost the neighbor helping neighbor idea years back. So we suffer alone. All of us. I think being a victim sucks. I persnally am tired of it. You did a fine job although I think you could end your poem bigger. My best to you... Dellena
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