This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-09-22 17:31:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


Unpleasantries Galore

I wrote to Momma  about that God damned comma Looking all that much like sperm. She said: use a dot  to put a stop and that turn    of the traipsing worm                         thing.  A colon is so much nicer  (In Parenthesis) might entice her But the staid hyphen took the cake.  The connection it made  in all sorts of ways Let me too early (or worse,)                         too late. 

Copyright © September 2007 James C. Horak


This Poem was Critiqued By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-10-02 16:34:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
OMG! James!!! The first lines had me laughing so very hard, my friend *GRIN* This is absolutely precious!! I love it! ...still snickering... "looking all that much like sperm" James. I will never look at a comma again without thinking of this wonderfully whimsical write! Simply wonderful. my friend. Thanks so much for the chuckle, the smile, (yeppers...look at all those little "worm things" there...LOL!) and the honor of your "funny-side"! I adore this!! Splendid simplicity!! On my list! Best Always, Mary


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-10-02 16:01:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.72727
Hi JCH....I do hope you meant this to be funny because I have laughed every time I read it! You have a dry wit that never fails to amuse me. In fact you are gifted in that respect (as well as others) when it comes to crafting a poem. A comma does resemble sperm, doesn't it? Well done, my friend. Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-09-25 09:35:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90476
Interesting read poet, actually it was good as the words flowed bringing forth images of all sorts especially in the grammar department which I must admit I am totally lost in most of the time. Also enjoyed the form you used as it made for easy reading too. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-09-23 13:06:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63158
James, I don't know how to critique this piece because I don't understand its meaning. But alot of poeple don't understand the meaning of my poetry either because alot of it is personal and I just write what is at my fingertips at the moment. Your methaphors I must say are excellent. I could only wish to the talent to use such grace. The reason I suggested to mark about the puncuation, is that I try to learn as much as I can from anyone. I do not claim at all to be a poet. I just write a release for me as a part of my lifes healings. But I have had alot of people tell me that in poetry not to use puncuation. That is why I stopped using them. I, myself very much enjoy when someonem ESPECIALLY another poet gives me ANY advice and or help in any way. I would give just about anything to be able to pen as beautiful as the many poets I have read. But, as far as leaving to vowels out this week, what a challange. Good luck to you! Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-09-22 19:45:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, Here comes one of those wonderful reviews that I know you so cherish; the one with lots of flowering patronism and empty words that rattle on and on without saying much of anything...*smile* I truly have chuckled myself right off the chair as I read this...and all I can find to say is superb, bravo and you rock my friend. Sorry I didn't get a chance to try and use all of the aforementioned punctuation in this crit. Best always, Lora
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!