This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-10-06 12:58:29 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Tangle

Trying tied tangles to part,     given hope form the start               they would. Stand for something      promised, I could          play more than fool One night, and brave      short stabs of distilled                     night And once, when over,              it was not.       

Copyright © October 2007 James C. Horak


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2007-11-06 20:40:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, I could grab this, start from the ending, and be somewhere you never predicted. I find in this, (and granted I am insane, after a point) that a saddened man (“hope from the start they would”) is feeling sorry for himself (play more than fool) although probably he is justified. and he drinks the night away to forget – (“distilled nights”) and in the morning he finds that it was real (“when over, it was not”), but also, in a strange duality of the piece- his memory (and distillery) mask the actions of the night (“and once, when over, it was not”) a sort of backhand symbolism that stresses drink may ease to some extent but it doesn’t change what is. For me- and as you know, my god, I do try- that is the tangle I see woven. By the way, the “fool” is quite familiar to me, as is the product of a distillery.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2007-11-04 16:03:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A puzzle probably worth solving, but I'm not in the mood. TEW
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-10-18 15:41:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James.....I have read and then returned to read several times in an attempt to get inside your head when you wrote this. To me it has a flavor of despair which I am unable to shake everytime I read the words. You seem to be trying to un-tangle the threads of your life but I don't know why. Let it suffice to say this is a very thought provoking piece written in a style that only you have mastered. Hope all is okay with you as you seem quiet of late. I remember a message you sent via Lora that said you are having trouble geting signed in on the forum. Have you tried setting up a new user name and password? I remember I had to do that myself, at one point. Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-10-13 09:36:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, Shades and tones of Elizabethan era, of Shakespearean reminiscence; and why not the harrowing of morrow to replenish the spirit but alas often things thought finished are not and not all tangles can be undone albeit one may altruistically hope for more. A very comfortable read in structure and verbiage….I LIKE IT. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2007-10-12 10:09:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
JCH, I am interpreting the syntax of the first stanza as deliberate - mirroring the tangle. Ok. I love the feel of coming to the end of the skein with this, a feel of an untangling - yet with the end of the string hanging in air as it were. I love the structure of the third stana One night, and brave short stabs of distilled night as well. An effective, nicely put together piece. Delicate. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-10-10 11:23:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi James....should the form form be from? Just wondering as it would read better to me that way but then I know how typos go.......otherwise again you have presented food for thought to this reader. How I wish my pen would begin working again.............God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-10-09 13:33:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
James, I gotta say, I love your different style of poetry. I find it very interesting and very thought provoking. I love when I see your name because it is a surprise read every time. I love your imagery and metaphors. You have this reader smiling. I feel I could learn alot from you. Rene'
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