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This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-10-24 16:28:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Autumn Voices in the Breeze

Morning whispers sun's speckling light through trees Whimpering wind bowing tender end of limbering limbs In circling motion like undecided Accusation Along fence rows curtailed path for leaves Instead where night had piled droves of the less wondered Glimpsing building steadiness the wind seeps through While I tiger-maul a rake through little budding protests to Death.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-11-05 21:31:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
James, Spring rebirth, winter death. I wish summer and blooms could be unending. And I have so many leaves with all my trees, to clean up. I compost them. I believe animals/trees/life can communicate. So I'm sure they hate to go inward in the fall, same as I. I like your fresh perspective, different from all the rest. And go easy on the rake. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2007-11-04 15:57:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Your lawn, your life. Thank God for Springs, eh. TEW

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-10-26 15:14:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Well poet I just finished helping my guy rake up the front yard and as your poem states, burr, the wind was moving the leaves about this way and that, the cold north east winds were beginning to howl and I began protesting........life is like that at times too. Thanks for posting and sharing, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2007-10-26 01:25:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear James, This is a keeper. You've used very fresh lines, a great rhythmic flow & a deep thought provoking edge in the last verse. Sun's speckling - just as it does through the trees - good description. Particularly liked "In circling motion like undecided accusation", very unique affect in this piece that enhances it all the more. "tiger-maul" a rake - different and worth remembering - all in all it's very clever & enjoyable. Best to you, Denimari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-10-25 11:17:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Ah James, As usual a very delicious image packed read. And, I shiver at the wind encrouching upon the seasons as the earth prepares for winter. Love the images presented, now with this all said I have to also say that this also reminded me of ones life, the many stages/seasons that we travel on our journey, possibly a bit sad but yet contented for all things are as they are ordained to be. I especailly liked your closing, total empathy for those rakeing situation. Good to see this post and you. Best always, Lora

This Poem was Critiqued By: charles r pitts On Date: 2007-10-24 23:59:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
i like this piece. there's a subtle familiarity to it that i think most anyone can identify with at some point. if i may be so bold, i'd like to offer some observations/suggestions... there is a rhythm in the first stanza that plays through your use of alliteration (sun's speckling-whimpering wind-limbering limbs)and playful rhymes (whimpering wind-tender end) that i dont find in the second stanza. dont get me wrong, there is nothing at all wrong with the 2nd stanza- i find it to be a nice fit visually, but i dont "hear" any of the autumn "voices". perhaps some "sighing" winds seeping the "droves the night" twas sweeping or something of that nature. but where the first stanza speaks in many tongues, the second falls silent. if you can continue the same thread you started in the first stanza through the second- with the same flow and mood, this will really be a remarkable, complete piece. the third stanza is brilliant--can't read it without smiling. tiger-maul a rake"?? Wile E. Coyote--genius--pure genius. always a pleasure JCH charlie

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