This Poem was Submitted By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-11-09 16:46:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Inner Oceans
marooned
in the maelstrom of solitude
purl seas inside me
surged a tidal bore of loneliness
radiating ripples of emptiness
now stilled under moonless pitch
seaweed washed up upon barren shore
like unsent letters run aground
beleaguered by the algae of age
only to be repossessed
and held
in the sea purse of time
~ grains of sand caught in an undertow ~
sending sandpipers to scribble their
footnotes in foam
as daylight disappears
into the depths
and raindrops turn to mist
stealing stars from my eyes
leaving only
silent water
shining water
unspoken reflections
drifting
in the cloud cathedral of my dreams
while flamingos bow their heads
to scour a salty tarn
of tears
sifting for ruddled reminders
...of you
~ |
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Copyright © November 2007 Mary J Coffman
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-12-06 23:45:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Mary! WOW! Absolutly beautiful and your font and format are perfect!! My gosh! I do mean it when I say, this is awesome and I am voting on it!
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-12-04 12:22:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This is the second poem that I have read this month that I think is outstanding. This takes a scene and presents detail along with a thought. Well done, Well done. Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-11-29 13:04:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mary,
Bravo, you've done it again and most delicately in an almost whisper, those things that seldom is put to voice. I especially liked: "in the sea purse of time","stealing stars from my eyes", and "sifting for ruddled reminders". I have to say that this might be one of my most favorites of your writes, definitely a keeper for this reader. There are so many layers that defy explanation but leave an emotional, spiritual imprint here...kudos.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-11-12 02:03:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Enjoyed the read very much.......I am always amazed at how one can take a word and create a mountain of emotions, feelings and images......you have done this with this one Mary and it is so very well done. Inner Oceans is a good title for this one , easy to read form, word flow, inner feelings that one might find hard to release otherwise.......thanks for posting once more.....God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2007-11-09 19:23:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mary,
This poem is truly eloquent. The symbol of the ocean has as much breathth for imagery and metaphor as does the sky, and you show yourself remarkably able to use it. The poem is an inner landscape and the words, images and metaphors you employ enrich with saving grace what is normally an over-worked over-done-before theme.
It is because you individuate it so well. And that is the mark of a true poet. Enjoyed very much.
Terry
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