This Poem was Submitted By: Mary J Coffman On Date: 2007-11-09 16:52:57 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Pastel
encircled
in star-thistle glint
climbing curling
lilac whispers exhaled
in an island of blue-jet blinks
her blushed moonlit landscape
seduced in slivers of seconds
as first touch inseminates
in bare breasted breaths
bathed in the pale peach moon-around
of shallow sleep’s ablutionary ritual
an alabaster lily
suspended
in the pale yellow halo
of innocence
~ |
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Copyright © November 2007 Mary J Coffman
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-12-04 10:32:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mary,
Always enjoy colors that are peaceful that represent a feeling or thought. You flow throughout this piece and it is an enjoyable read. Life is shown, well done.
Thanks for sharing, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-11-30 20:00:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mary,
Yes, definitely yes, what a triumphant tribute to the Lily, couldn't have been better...you make each of us want to be the Lily and so cherished and revered in garden's moonlight splendor...you've given my hands the itch to pull out canvas and capture your poem in paint or pastel...you've given inspiration, your name should be muse.
Namaste'
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-11-16 01:42:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
BREATHTAKING!! BEAUTIFUL AND YOUR IMAGERY IS A MASTERPIECE. CONGRATS!!
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2007-11-12 10:55:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Well. I'll be a lily in this garden any day.
Mary, Mary: quite contrary
To the average TPL poetess,
I confess I lack suffiicient -
shall we say - innocence
to be a critic of such candor.
Once, when I was younger,
and less jaded, and less risk averse,
and younger, and impulsive,
and a Democrat, and male as a post,
and dumber than that, I would
take this poem to bed with me.
Now, older and wiser and tart
(not tartar, I floss), I swim in it
nakedly, alone with my harem,
which is not alone with me.
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