This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-11-20 23:51:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Tapestry The late leaves
will fall, a plumed
pine will sway
gathered light
will shine on the frozen
lake and a fern
will lay its fragile
cheek on a stone
a golden envelope
of light will become dawn.
I am amazed this tapestry
of beauty remains
even though you are gone.
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Copyright © November 2007 marilyn terwilleger
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-12-06 23:57:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80952
Marilyn,
Beautiful poetry here! Serioulsy! I love the beauty you see through what seems to be a depression. Beautiful words!
Always,
Rene'
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-12-06 08:14:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Memories are shown within this moment of time. One that is physically gone yet remains within the thoughts is what I see expressed here. This place will always stay clear and the beauty sending its brillance throughout the years. Thanks for sharing as always. Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2007-11-29 12:58:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
I apologize for not having more time to spend on this declicious offering. Just wanted you to know that it was most enjoyable, no nits, the beauty and sentiment was not lost on this reader.
Best always,
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2007-11-27 13:56:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Marilyn,
I like this poem very much, the lines -
pine will sway
gathered light
will shine
as: pine will sway gathered light will shine
are marvelously integrated, going back and forward at the same time. Can you see this? It makes of a nature poem something more special then just apt imagery. All nature poetry must have more now to be better then just a gift for description. The last line, "even though you are gone", simple, unexpected, giving a whole wonderful level of meaning to the previous lines. Very reminescent of some of the great oriental poets, (Basho, comes to mind) where we are at first fooled by the simplicity, then surprised by the depth such simple writing can convey.
Very good and the good of your own style!
Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-11-27 00:33:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
What a lovely tapestry you have created with your words poet.......Fall in itself is a sad season for the world seems to be coming to a close per say; a rest for a few months and the images you created bring forth one last piece of beauty within each line. Perhaps you were at this same place with your husband before hge earned his angel wings and shared such a view. Hope you know he is and will always be a part of your tapestry created through life. Thanks for posting, beautifully done as always. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2007-11-21 20:45:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
I believe you are in the genre of unrequited love.
You love someone and you cannot be together.
Not reciprocated or returned in kind: unrequited love, not satisfied.
It is so sad and yet it turns to such beauty also.
I may be wrong but it seems it would be similiar.
The cheek on stone is lovely.
When such sorrow is felt/equally is such joy.
A wonderfully love sharing poem.........
Dellena
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