This Poem was Submitted By: Lola Blaze On Date: 2007-11-24 20:37:39 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Green Christmas Purse

Tucked inside my tiny drawstring green velvet purse With the hunter-green satin lining Is a wish of what I would like in my stocking Hanging from the mantel above a cozy fire On Christmas Eve. How to package such precious gifts is very complex! Please pack, oh, so carefully, as not to damage Even a tiny corner or rumple a feather! (Because feathers are so easily rumpled these days). Please wrap up love, so close I can feel you’re breath when I open it.   Please tuck in the glow that thinking of you lets me wear each day. Please package a wink that makes me smile when I see your face. Stow there your heart that warms my insides when I think of you, So you can always steal me away from wherever I am.   My purse will never leave my side until this season ends. Although I will be with you most every night, I cannot be sure If you wishes are the same as mine, But rest assured that the little box placed under your tree, Is what you want from me.

Copyright © November 2007 Lola Blaze


This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2007-12-06 23:44:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Lola, What a beautiful Christmas wish! Who could ask for more. Your 3rd stanza alone could be a poem. Thanks for the read. Rene'


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2007-12-06 00:39:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92593
Very enjoy able read poet, well penned, filled with many images and thoughts of the season that should be carried through the coming year. Thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2007-12-04 09:56:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Love the thought behind this, packaged so nicely for the reading. Great poem to make the reader dwell on the thought during this season or any time of the year. Well done... Thanks for sharing, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry A On Date: 2007-11-27 14:47:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Lola, First let me say, you have the most wonderful name for a poet. Easy to remember, poetic to extreme, and a comment on every piece of writing you attach it too. I went back in the archives and read some of the poetry you’ve submitted to TPL, and want to say, it’s good to see you submitting again. Your poetry is an asset to the site. The significant thing about this poem is that it’s interesting to read a poem in which the relationship between a man and woman hasn’t been “complicated” out of the realm of possibility of joy and of pleasure. The modern age provides too many ‘second thoughts” to burden relationships nowadays. As did Victorian times, when women had to fear pregnancy in societies where virtue was a woman’s only bargaining chip. More freedom now does not automatically mean that pleasure has in it kindness, caring and concern for another’s well-being. But your lighthearted poem does and is, just that. And sometimes it's just nice to not let time into the critique! Terry
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-11-25 21:12:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Hi Lola....I have read this piece several times and find it to be a lovely write which is more prose than poetry, which is fine. You have created some good images that are pleasing to read. I do think you could tighten up the lines and not lose the beautiful message. Such as... With (the) hunter-green satin lining....by deleting the word 'the' it makes the line tighter Is a wish of what I would like in my stocking...you could say 'are wishes for my stocking' Hanging from the mantle above a cozy fire...you could say 'hanging above a cozy fire' ....everyone knows the stocking would be hanging from a mantle so you don't need to say that. these are just a few ideas that you can use or lose. You have a clever idea for this poem and with just a few adjustments you will have a wonderful poem! Write on.....Marilyn
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