This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2007-12-22 03:42:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Neurosis

The mustard seed said: "Thus will I have it: "I should not be permitted to fall          by any means nor for any purpose         be shrouded in loam’s darkness "I should never have offered to me         infusions of any elements borne         upon the water of life "I should not be permitted to feel         the press of internal change          that may divide me against myself "I should not have my innards         orient themselves via gravity          that they may reach towards the sun "I should not have my exoskeleton         left to become composted         into other organisms’ nutriments. "Beyond these things, I’ve nothing left to add."

Copyright © December 2007 Mark Andrew Hislop


This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2007-12-23 15:05:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Hi Mark...I have read this piece several times and I feel a sense of melancholy and pathos written inside the lines. Both in the written words and especially what lies between them, unwritten. Recently you shared with me that it takes a lot our of you to write a poem...I think this piece is an example of that struggle. Not that you struggle to write, you know how to do that, but the effort it takes to limn your inner feelings on paper. I understand that completely. Deep inside we have feelings we share with no one...unless we we feel compelled to write them down and then we make the choice to share or not to share. This is a dark poem but then I like Poe so it appeals to me and on some level perhaps I feel the same but am not talented enough to write them so eloquently. I wish you and your family the best. Merry Christmas. Big hugs....Mazza


This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2007-12-22 09:46:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Yes, certainly achieved this broader context and, I'll bet, NOT from therapy. I'll share something with you about context. Few really know how precious and enriching it is. As an example: Richard III is Shakespeare's crowning glory. Why?, you may ask. Well, Richard's asides in the play, and his soliloquies. Again, why?, you may ask. Because, Mark, if one has the context, the historical context, then and only then can they be appreciated. The Bard is playing word games with the lies, Elizabeth I's court historian, Polydore Virgil, has committed in rewriting the history of Elizabeth's ancestors, to suit her. For it is Elizabeth's own ancestor whose treason ended the life of the last Plantagenate, Richard III, to begin her own dynasty. I'll tell you something else, something your poem touches. There is a context for spiritual technology. You can bet it is NOT religion. In that context ALL your "shoulds" are realized. You have no idea how pleasing it is to me to see you "revitalized". Keep feeding it with rich thought and increasing frame of reference. JCH
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