This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-02-02 06:41:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Show Girl

Love-child of crowds  taken from the cradle to astound. Prancing like a prince at dance  in flavors lust lasts on the tongue. Chance perilous she comes now  in recapture of innocense  Worn over from fame insatiate  to step back on Eliot's stair                 just enough... To see the reed grow straight.

Copyright © February 2008 James C. Horak


This Poem was Critiqued By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2008-02-15 21:32:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, I gotta say you penned this really well. I enjoyed reading this alot! And I actually understood your metaphors...lol... Always, Rene'


This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-02-08 14:27:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
JCH, Even your faults appear . . . Shakespeare has Enobarbus(?) say something delicious about Cleopatra in that regard, and I'd love to quote it but it evades me. And I can safely say that to you without any nonsense being implied, one female-bewitched heterosexual male to another. I've always believed your character - the person you are, your stance, your prose forays into your position(s) - was your special glory, and what you had to contribute here above all else. One's character can be a poem; one's life can be a poem. To me, that's JCH: a grand character who leads with personality and an endearing (to me) bravado which, despite the flavor of the word, is genuine and even a bit innocent. As to your poetry. Sometimes the effect of your syntax is like a man trying to get out of a straight jacket. That prevents your efforts from rising another level. I place you stylistically in the School of Wit. You could never be accused of being short on gray matter, and your poems have an abundance of it, to the extent they sometimes suffer from too much. I often, as with your poem about the father and the girl last month, can't get at what you're saying. Which would not be important if the point of what you're saying wasn't so essential to the experience of the poem - but with you it seems it always is. As to this poem. The last line, in context, reveals an erection. Eliot's stair? I seem to remember a poem of his, one of his best, that furnishes the allusion. Not a big Eliot fan, I can't recall it. I get the overall feel of this one even if I can't precisely nail down your point - and, as I said, you are always, ever about the point. Sometimes we come to poems that we can't comfortably grasp with our intellects. In great or very good poems, that doesn't matter - the verbal experience and aesthetic presence they bring make up for any lack of understanding. This being a more than competent poem, but not being one of those poems, my failure to intellectually grasp is diminishment. But as often with a fine mind and capable poet such as yourself, I'm sure the clues are there, and the failure to appreciate a poem worthy of being read and written is my failure. Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-02-05 14:52:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ah James, Another mind bender...if we were in the 50's I'd think you spoke of Shirley Temple or Judy Garland perhaps the even Great Dame herself "Liz", however if it is of today's time one might surmise that it is of Britney; at any blush it hold true of what are social structure does for/with and to our females..what a shame...sort of like how the army use to program soldiers, send them off to war, bring them home and forget them; no counseling to de-program.. Some culture we live in...like the verbiage intensely and always your way of wording.. Best always, Lora
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