This Poem was Submitted By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2008-02-07 17:23:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Just Shit My pen once again spill words
On an empty page
Lavishly exposing emotion
From the depths of my belly
Deep in my veins
An explosion of thoughts rush to
Escape me
Hurry my fingers
Keep up with the brain
Stop this fountain of madness
From closing
Don't read what you write
Don't write what you read
It will flow as intended to be
And when my pen stops
The tablet shall close
As a sigh of relief engulfs me
Ah, sleep surely will find peace
Tonight
For the bowels of the beast
Have been emptied
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Copyright © February 2008 Rene L Bennett
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-02-28 11:06:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hey, how are you? Naturally the title peaked my interest - and find it "fits' the write perfectly,
according to your last line.
Was that intentional? It's deep, thought provoking, and the release of emotions on paper - has always made me feel better - we have to "vent" - "get rid of", useless energy somehow - although I wouldn't call it a fountain of madness - poetry is beautiful - a gift from God - as was this write - from you.
Enjoyed the read,
sincerely,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-02-17 21:36:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene,
Interesting title, unusual take on emptying the bowels.
I'd like dumping stuff from your head better.
I guess we are connected bodies.
You write from the whole of you.
Interesting, very interesting.........
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Robin Ann Crandell On Date: 2008-02-17 03:34:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I like this poem Rene. I feel as if you wrote this from my mind.
It will flow as intended to be
And when my pen stops
The tablet shall close
As a sigh of relief engulfs me
My favorite line is that last line, "As a sigh of relief engulfs me..."
I too feel when I have so many thoughts in my mind that I cannot speak, my pen does the speaking. It feels so good to get all the emotion out. I think a lot of us "writers" have this same feeling.
Thanks for the work. I made me smile.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2008-02-14 16:17:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Rene,
indeed so...
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-02-14 15:07:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Rene....This is a stunning poem. The curse of poets...we are bound to write but not everything we write pleases us. I know this drill only too well! I think you said it just right when you wrote 'don't read what you write.' When I read some of my old poems...most of which are posted here, I just cringe. What I thought was good then, now seems drab and ordinary. Hopefully we can learn from our mistakes. Your last two lines, of this piece, are superb! A poem I throughly enjoyed!
Blessings....marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-02-10 20:58:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Had to smile to myself as I read this Rene....reminded me of days gone by when I would rise at night with pen in hand and write whatever came at me..........indeed being totally emptied after. Your form is right on, the words flow taking the reader along for the ride and the images are all there. thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-02-09 13:13:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene',
I not quite sure what to say except; I found myself nodding my head with each statement...wow, it actually took my breath away and left me ending with a sigh...exhausted. How many times have any of us felt the same compulsion... You expertly took me on the journey with you, well done.
Best
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-02-08 13:01:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Rene,
The problem with a confessional approach to poetry is that, while it may answer some urgent need and feel sooo goood to you in writing it - I've written my share - you end up with nothing beyond an interesting and arresting intensity, and some powerful turns of language (e.g. see Berryman, Lowell, Plath) and vivid writing, but it's all like a house of beautiful cards that crumbles after making its beautiful showing. One can read Plath and say, wow, she nailed her human moment up pretty good, but it remains Plath's human moment, not yours, not mine. Of course, it could be yours or mine if your or my situation happens to mirror hers at that moment, and sometimes it does have a more universal reach (when she, e.g., is at her best) which makes it somewhat applicable to all at all times (the poetry that lasts). I think when we're feeling confessional we should attempt to lift that emotion to a more universal level.
That said, I loved the metaphor of the "bowel of the beast" being "emptied."
Mark
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