This Poem was Submitted By: Rene L Bennett On Date: 2008-02-16 15:11:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Simplicity of a Child

Sittin' staring at the sun Watching children play and run Remembering way back when A time I used to laugh with them Simplicity of the mind Seeking all there was to find Innocence came so true Curiosity over due The smell of spring danced in the air Though I didn't even think to care Tomorrow seemed so far away Living life by the day Then clouds came drifted by Releasing tears from the sky Security no longer mine Casting doubt from time to time And as the days turned into years Facing all my inner fears Sittin' staring at the sun Watching children play and run

Copyright © February 2008 Rene L Bennett


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-02-22 07:59:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Being a memere I must say the best time of the day is when I sit and play with Ben and Molly....their hugs and laughter bring such joy to my heart. Then clouds came drifted (drifting) by thought drifting read easier to me....just a suggestion on my part of course.......your words are so true to life and images of my own past came bursting forth.. for whatever reason anxiety set into my life it stayed with me for well over fifteen years.....not much laughter then but lots of fear...thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-02-20 21:02:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene, It will.come as spring again. I know what its like to lose right in the midst of all that supposed security. [which really isn't] That is why you must keep writing, till all the sorrow passes. You have this support group here. use it! Get to writing/work it out/you will be ok. Good show of deep seated desires and fears, same as all the rest of us. You are not alone. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-02-17 17:14:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene', I really liked this, nice meter, easy read. Only one small nit: "Then clouds came drifted by", you either need to remove the "came" or change the "drifted" do "drifting" to make a smooth transition through the line. Excellent, enjoyed. Best, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-02-17 00:47:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rene, The poem has a nice easy rhythm and an appropriate simplicity. Mark
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