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I Knew the Sea Storm upon the deep, with silent warning bell. My eyes rapt in careful stare. Thunder dropped on turquoise sea, its voice thick with sighs. Water whirled in passing wind on cold, white heaps of foam. I knew the sea. I knew the waves Heaven looked with downward brow, slowed ocean’s ire, green water resumed its glide. Dreams tickled sand, echoed memories. I knew the sea, I knew the waves Seabirds lingered at dawn above a sea that shuddered with each high sway. Waves swallowed rue of my footsteps and length of quickened breath. I knew the sea, I knew the waves |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-03-20 21:19:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
A few things different to contemplate. I think a little more substance too, would
be beneficial.
I don't like waves swallowing rue!
Waves swallowed my footsteps
in rue and length
of quickened breath.
I wish you would have ended: I know the sea, I know the waves well.......
And always you show such depth.
Dellena