This Poem was Submitted By: Victor David Rooks On Date: 2008-04-06 06:30:44 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Seduction
That broad beam that besets the eye
And casts its shadow cross the soul.
Finds favor with the fashioned lie
That I am Master of the whole.
The dire eclipsed by moment pleasures
Poised to pit us against given grief-
And steal away our tallied treasures
In place we find a welcomed thief. |
|
Copyright © April 2008 Victor David Rooks
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-04-20 00:50:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Victor,
Very nice.
We think we're the big Enchilada and we are not.
The treasure being our afterlife of the soul.
To grow beyond the worldly pleasures and all it's goods is a mighty step to takeh
and recognize, and speak of.......most enjoyable read.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-04-08 21:19:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 5.00000
Having given me cause to read your other poems, all from years back, I would
venture you've been born far to late, Mr. Rooks.
The last poets with your style and exceptional ability to turn a phrase were
the early Victorian Romantics. You've made a noun of "dire", another bard
privilage not exercised of late and "tallied treasures" is a more than interesting
way of avoiding measured, a very good parallel with how the seduced begin to
view their victimization in more sublimated ways. Thus, the theft has become
of "welcomed thief".
Not if you've visited any family court lately.
But then it wouldn't be a very good seduction were we given much time to think
it over, would it?
You have me there.
Able and well turned lines with thought-provoking substance.
And I'm pleased to meet you.
JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcus J On Date: 2008-04-06 15:01:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Excellent flow, poet! I’m sensing in your words both lust and envy. Upon reading the last line, I feel like these emotions personify death, the “welcomed thief.†Now that’s one take. Take two: your title suggests intimacy. Your poem in comparison hints of a forbidden love, and perhaps regret.
One of the many beauties of good poetry is open interpretation and this poem is a fine example of that beauty. Welcome back, Victor. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Mark M
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!