This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2008-04-23 08:49:19 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Brain Scan I’ve figured out my problem
it’s quite simple actually
I’ve always felt I’m different
with no male normalcy
But since I’ve had a brain scan
it’s very plain to see
how all my life my thinking
has been disorderly
I’ve way to many circuits
buzzing here and there
Connections between the two halves
why they’re everywhere!
As any good neurologist
or Oprah fan would know
A man’s brain is more separated
than a woman’s it’s been shown
That’s why man is quite direct
and always to the point
but missing all the intricate things
that get women out of joint
So it appears I’m an example
of why men’s brains are split
If not, all men would be like me
Ah, just THINK of it!!
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Copyright © April 2008 Kenneth R. Patton
Additional Notes:
Makes sense to me!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-05-07 01:32:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45455
Kenneth,
A bit of a puzzle to me.
We really are all more alike than we know!
But because you think the way you do, I believe you are unique.
Anyway you give us something to ponder, which proves to be entertaining.
Good job puzzling us.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcus J On Date: 2008-04-30 23:03:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Fitting title. Near perfect meter. And yes, it makes sense to me as well. However, I'm reading a different last stanza:
So it appears I’m an example
of why men’s brains are split
If not, all men would be like me
and not simply full of shit.
Overdue for my 100,000 mile brain scan,
Mark M
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2008-04-26 11:15:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Kenneth,
That makes two of us...mine might be a little more joined than it ought to be. This was a fun read with an enthusiastic flow...some scinece education thrown in too...i was unaware until now that our brain structure defines our personality traits...verse 3 - consider removing two to even out the flow...verse 3 typo - it's 'too' instead of 'to'...verse 5 - might have a syllablle too many...especially line 3...how about just using the word 'intricacies' rather than intricate things...
Nice one...
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2008-04-26 11:05:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
You know, when one approaches a piece with the desire of humor and questionable lyric, it is often a difficult thing to do.
Your meter is very well done. The piece stands out in humor; I am not sure whether you attribut the
malady to only yourself and distinct from other men, or all men, but either way the it is an amusing
anecdote.
Back to the beginning, trying to miswrite a piece is a difficult as trying to perfect one- which in this
case the miswriting is the perfection, or vice versa.
A very nice, amusing piece to start my day. I like it!
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