This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-07-12 01:02:45 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Wandering I wander on the shore
drugged by salty air
and sea smells
that arrived
on scallop shells.
Moon slivers mingle
with sand
in shades
of taupe and silver.
Sharp stars flicker,
quiet moments slide.
I dally in the shadows,
await dawn birds
and tides that linger
then wane in ocean’s silhouette.
A dark cascade
of phantom waves
wash my soul
and calm my restless
wandering.
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Copyright © July 2008 marilyn terwilleger
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-08-15 18:33:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
you have captured the sounds, smells and deep feelings of being out in the early morning light , standing at the edge of this vast body of water , perhaps allowing the ripples of water to tickle your toes as you stand in awe of the beauty before you........ocean's silhouette.....phantom waves wash my soul....drug by salty air and sea smells......so very well penned my friend, so full of images and emotions. Thank you for postig and sharing with us. God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: James Edward Schanne On Date: 2008-08-03 14:43:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This poem gave me plenty of visuals and I always love that in a poem
Thanks for a very good read
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2008-07-28 15:31:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I related to this poem in a visual manner, in the way one can use Photoshop to make the experience of a photo into a sepia tone. However this tone seemed more bluish gray to me (because I am a man I don't know what color taupe is, might be brown in which case I am wrong about the color) in it's expression. I was dropped into the sea of this poem and the smells long remembered too of gulls and the quiet of pre/post-dawn on the beach.
I find the restlessness of the waves of beaches an ointment for my own restlessness as well, as there is a regularity to the restlessness of waves which is like an osmotic empathy that only the sea seems to possess. Even lakes have this to some extent, yet the impact of it seems more subdued in it's effect.
Om,
Regis
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-07-27 22:46:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dear Marilyn,
A soulful write, with imagery that soothes the spirit and leave this reader feeling peaceful.
The ocean - one of the most beautiful blessings in the world, love how you say
drugged by salty air - because it is addictive once exposed to the smell of it......
I dally in the shawdows - tender; reflective and an excellent place to be in this write....
Water can wash the soul, and calm any restlessness held within - wandering, living, the journey of life and the poetic writes that lead us eagerly to read more, and more.
Great write my friend.
Blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-07-19 19:24:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Marilyn,
I like the scenery, the beauty of the shore......
I just think this poem needs more substance...
I basically go a beautiful surroundings but all 'you' said was it calmed your restless wanderings.
Maybe you could go on about the peace you get from nature.
How the whole scene puts you in a place of bliss.......
Just some thoughts.
dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2008-07-16 15:56:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Marilyn,
It was hard for me to decide which poem to speak to first. It must be my seaborn soul for the rythyms of this verse took me to the shore, waking my own memories of quiet times. I've always admired your use of metaphor and imagery: the colours, the sounds, the smells, the suspension of time in words like 'drugged, dally, and calm' and 'slide, linger and wane'. A hypnotic cadence. Even the visual presentation of the lines as they swell and recede echo the lapping of waves whether of water, shadows, or memories. It is a stay for peace and reflection and one I enjoyed very much.
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