This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-07-19 18:49:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Surges I ride the crest of the waves
During times of turbulence
I soar sky through the high
Then low I go, the depths of flow
All according to the oceans tide
Wind’s stream manipulates the ride
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Copyright © July 2008 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-08-04 16:44:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Love the full power of emotions I feel as I read this one......the ocean and all its fury has always captured my hearts desires ......love the word flow, the images, the soaring through the sky the high and lows of it all......you can stand there, imagine it all and still feel the wind as it is manipulating the ride.......could not ask for more my friend, other then that you are well .......thank you once more for posting and sharing your God given talent with us......God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-08-04 09:54:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Very good title Dellena, fits perfect with the poem content. Yes we have to float through the blues, and the tough times in life - feel the moments of joy when they come, savor each happy memory - yet turn around and dive down when the bumps in life smack us in the face.
Great write, I enjoyed reading it.
Blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-07-31 15:31:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi D....this is a thoughtful poem and one to be pondered and not pass off as just a poem about riding an ocean wave. I think it goes much deeper than that and could easily be a metaphor for life. The ups and downs our lives take can be powerful and sometime disturbing. We all wish for smooth sailing but don't often receive it. I guess the trick is to go with the flow and do the best we can with what we have got. A profound poem....M.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2008-07-28 15:26:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ah, even the brevity of this speaks to the title and point. Reading your work I am struck by these devices you you so well in this way. Reading this, I remembered a story about an old man who would dive into the crashing pool below a waterfall, and not be harmed. A youth saw this man and asked him how it was possible, and he said that one must relax completely and go with the flow, even such an apparently immediate and even violent flow as that of a waterfall.
I think that because of the urgency and amplitude of the experience demands a presentness implied by the title, and the fact that I am an action person and like to interpret poems in terms of movement on earth too.
Well done.
Om,
Regis
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2008-07-21 13:42:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena
The entirety of this piece is metaphoric; of life moving us, caught in not only the winds of life, but also the smaller crests; the winds of fashion, or society, or many more.
I believe you caught this moment with the past moments ( with precursors to the future), very well.
I ride the crest of the waves – You chose “crest†and would seem to indicate only those “waves†with passion or power have the influence to move you.
During times of turbulence
I soar sky through the high – Without defining “turbulence†you allow the reader to attach either a bad/good effect to the “sky†because turbulence is seldom viewed as benevolent; that said, you also allow us the other option to redefine “turbulence†depending on the winds in a good/bad image.
Then low I go, the depths of flow – Initially this would appear a bad image; however, with your almost whimsical rhyme pattern, you again allow us to absorb the ambiguity of the moment.
All according to the oceans tide
Wind’s stream manipulates the ride – Of course, the second most powerful impression on the tides is the winds, after the moon. I think you; for the first time in the piece editorialize. That is, “manipulate†assigned to ride- seems to cast dispute to those crests that command the malleable soul.
A very fine piece. You draw the reader along as a passenger on your surf board.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-07-19 23:08:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
If you meant, "I soar (high) through the (sky)"
then this is a suggested correction. If you did
not, but chose an interesting reflection, pardon
my presumption.
Still this is a successful poem well in tune with
the physical forces interchangingly working tide/wind/
imagination.
Yes, imagination is the ultimate carry of it all...
well appreciated by your poem.
JCH
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