This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2008-07-22 10:06:32 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Sculptured
To touch the contours of the surface entices this soul
To reach beyond letting penetration of thoughts sink in
To feel the emotions within a spectrum that range from joy to sorrow
This is where it begins…
The kiss to a forehead
The grasp from a child
The eyes wide open
A circle of life, has been performed…
Hearing the laughter
Hearing the anguish
Hearing the occasions
Mold this shape of life, as lived…
Seeing the tear roll off the cheek
Seeing the smile that lifts the spirit
Seeing a moment in its entirety
Creates, develops, a full life lived…
No doubts, No uncertainties
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Copyright © July 2008 Thomas H. Smihula
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-08-02 16:58:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Thomas,
This sounds like you've come full circle. You see the whole of the picture and realize what really matters. The love for another. The spirit of another in communion with you.
I love you Thomas through your words of sharing your soul. God is with you, you are a part of him.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2008-07-28 15:34:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Ah to be present and here now. Ever we poets seek to capture such an occasion. Indeed, I wonder if we do anything else? You have done so with an excellent physical structure, that breaks off the phases of your awareness of this moment of summation in time, reaching out in a glimmer of the arc of life expressed in a very concrete and immediate fashion. The mode of expression itself lends to this feeling of ever present-ness and I LOVE to see this in poems.
Well done!
Om,
Regis
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-07-25 03:55:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Tom, hope you are well......this read is so beautiful it comes straight from your heart and I am certain it will touch all that read it.....the words bring forth life from birth, the experiences within that circle of life and all that it may touch.......I like the title as it is so fitting.......reminds me of a few I have penned in the past.....I so love it when the Lord works through His child. Thanks for posting, for being an important part of the link. Looking forward to more of your work...
The kiss to a forehead
The grasp from a child
The eyes wide open
indeed, hugs and kisses, arms held wide, 'up'...says Molly who is only one year old.....I enjoyed it all.....
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2008-07-22 20:45:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thomas, I must say, the ending is as unlike my view as I can imagine. Although the beauty and the wonder always amaze me, through my life; there are left many doubts and uncertainties. I live without any regret because I place behind me all but that worth reveling in; but I always wonder at "the road not taken".
Some highlights for me in your verse:
"To feel the emotions within a spectrum that range from joy to sorrow" - an excellent line that defines for me you end line. The joy and sorrow are there; you just rate them as the director of what is good in life now, and to the end. Not a fatalistic view, but rather an almost calvanistic reasoning. Some may discount that, but to a Calvanist, there is much comfort there. One cannot discount the conscience.
"A circle of life, has been performed… Hearing the laughter - Hearing the anguish" Once again I slip into the orb, the feelings and actions that create who we are. I like who I am so I am almost tempted to enjoin your final lines.
"Creates, develops, a full life lived" - and there it is. Maybe for a perfectly oriented person, your final epitaph is a creative and ultimate end result. Maybe I am wrong and the last lines are correct.
Maybe.... I am not as adjusted as I believe I am.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-07-22 19:24:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
That we permit dichotomy to enter so much of life's aspects,
and to draw from that an either/or model has always been perplexing to me.
So I, for one, can't appreciate that the intellectual might in any way
diminish the emotional.
But you are quite valid in employing that consideration...literature is full
of such motive force. It is behind the tragedy of Othello, it is the reduction
of King Lear.
Age has brought me all the wonders attached to appreciating the "sculpting"
observed upon the Childe Herald or the Father of the Man.
Children have been for quite some time now my greatest interest. Perhaps it is
a communal trait but I look upon them as all our repsonsibility. All of them
are equally precious.
But I did not always know how much.
You poem is a travel through the process of reaching that understanding.
Welcome to age's wisdom.
JCH
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