This Poem was Submitted By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2008-07-30 00:11:29 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Background

this love doesn't help us live it doesn't make the terrain less steep or rocky than it shall be in the landscape of our lives, rather it is the sky against which the blue shimmer of the sun and waters of the world are reflected, giving meaning quenching drenching storms a place to play a home for the rays of the sun and a place to turn our eyes when circumstances do not smile but burn upon us, this love does not save us from gravity stumbles or the ants and roots which consume our sheaths returning, long whence we came to sky and sand and salt and smiles and all the whiles come and gone like this scrawling our mortality crawling like a bug in need of a rug, in that to hide, this love does not preclude the foreground or exclude the wailing sounds alive inside the background of this moving living sigh like a sign standing pointing low and high evergreen trees growing inside this love doesn't help us live
Copyright © July 2008 Regis L Chapman

Additional Notes:
But a breath we are here, love and die. Sometimes, we are happy, and sometimes overmindful of the shoulds of life, overwhelmed by the grinding of each day. Love helps, if we let it. Om, Regis

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-08-02 16:36:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Regis, But love is safety, it's a barrier from harm, a strength to call upon, love is everything, love is God. Love is with you a part of you, you 'are' love. YOU LIVE LOVE. It doesn't replace life, it enhances life. You are spoiled. You have love and it does help you live. Poem was good, not long winded. The rhyme good, shape easy to read. Good job. Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-07-31 15:24:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Regis....When I saw the structure of this piece I thought it was 'shape poetry' but if so I can't figure out what the shape is....so I'm thinking it doesn't depict anything and is just the form you used for this poem. It is interesting though. Personally I believe love can cure many ills. Of course it doesn't have to be a lover as there are many things and other people in our lives to love. You have let your line breaks take place of punctuation and have done them well. This is one of those thought provoking poems. Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lynda G Smith On Date: 2008-07-30 16:27:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
An intense driving poem rich with internal rhymes at a breakneck pace that leaves you breathless at the end of its reading... rather like life, it it is honestly and truly lived. I was also fascinated by how you structured the poem, visually rising to a crescendo and then returning to the same word group, consolidating your theme, the pulse of the poem and the lyric quality to the verse. Your metaphor that binds to all of the natural elements stays true to the end - a fitting treatment for this metaphysical writing. I particularly like the image of 'the ants and roots which consume our sheaths returning'. Dust unto dust, but love simply 'is'. Thoroughly enjoyed it Regis.
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