This Poem was Submitted By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-09-15 18:19:35 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Summers End I dread the end of summer’s golden light
when shadows shout before the sun’s demise.
They creep and slide into the purple night,
then call upon the fog to make it rise.
My restless sleep becomes my nemesis
when winter’s icy fist keeps tight the door,
the ponds are still and trees undo their dress.
I long for gardens green and blooms galore.
I pause to keep my soul and mind in runes
so sorrow’s rhyme can’t breathe inside my dreams.
I’ll measure days and nights in tablespoons
and wait for summer’s eve on twilight beams.
When echoes chime in morning’s smoky mist
my heart recalls the amber blush I’ve missed.
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Copyright © September 2008 marilyn terwilleger
Additional Notes:
You are probably getting sick of my sonnets! However, I had to post this one as it just won a huge contest on one of those other sites. They even paid me for it....what a surprise. Also I borrowed a line from T.S. Eliot....but he said he didn't mind (smile)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-10-04 00:41:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
Wow, you done good.
As I read this line, I would have put amore instead of galore!
when winter’s icy fist keeps tight the door,
the ponds are still and trees undo their dress.
I long for gardens green and blooms amore.
But how good this is/wished it were mine.
My best to you,
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2008-09-22 20:32:25
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Mazza
How to get sick of your sonnets when they are getting better all the time?
Eliot measured his life out in coffee spoons--which I've always taken to be teaspoons, hence smaller than your spoons so you're some kind of an advance on Prufrock... but are tablespoons more generous or more wastrel?? Either way, they strike me as less hopeful, which suits this.
Rather nice imagery here: "shadows...creep and slide", "winter's...fist keeps tight the door."
MAH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-09-17 22:54:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Marilyn,
I shall never grow tired of your sonnets...the more I read hopefully the more I learn from your style. Your verbiage evoked wonderful pictures to resonate in my mine and one could all but smell mornings smoky mist...perhaps it is just something I miss and you brought it into view...anyway, you have become quite accomplished at this form and it it a joy to read these pennings from you.
Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-09-17 17:21:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Congratulations on a job well done my friend.......enjoyed the sonnet and as always well presented. God Bless, Claire
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