This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2008-10-05 10:58:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Prism

A Symphony, To drown out greens of envy Bid adieu to black and black blue. Change weeds to flowering blooms, Over shards of confusion, less complications. Turn brown dried grass into a meadow of gold Crowned with riveting courses of landscapes. Love, signs of the dove soaring beyond Waxed lazy visions of life. Tell all beguiled by mesmerizing ideals To sit with palms up. Speak vowed conversations not relentless admirations For objects less spied by all men who lie; And uphold white virginal reputations,  Outside but never in. The turning tracks bend while life moves fast. Tricks cover, leave sad lovers, Lying in red hot beds of hate with disgust. Silver clear emotions stop bold puzzled notions, That smack orange moons over white feathers and  Fair friends bright light, softly floating  Over dusk waking up to midnights delight. As one hour changes; Everything in sight.

Copyright © October 2008 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2008-11-05 16:34:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.83333
DeniMari, This is good. One hour, one moment and everything changes. Life, death, a new president, emotions...everything. I like playing with the light. Vowed conversation is best. Don't leave tpl. you are strong! None are out to harm you. honestly. Don't give in to emotion, your better than that! Consider my words. just keep growing, keep going......... dellena


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2008-10-19 00:10:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.10000
Beautifully penned poet and filled with so many images, feelings, a song like sound to the read....interesting and one for the winners circle.......the changes in the seasons are reflected within as are the changes in our journey through life.....no day is or should ever be the same as the one before it.....we need to find more beauty in God's creation and keep it going strong.......as one hour changes so do many things; and yet, in the blink of an eye it could all be gone......you are so very talented my friend, enjoyed this read, how you wrapped it all together with just the right amount of flair......thanks again and God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2008-10-17 10:49:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
DeniMari, I like this. It's meaty, and POETRY. My head isn't into involved critiques right now, but let me say this is the best thing I've seen from you, and will probably be high on my list. Though I'm just getting started reading the submissions and the month if fairly young. Real progression here from you. Bravo. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2008-10-13 13:47:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni, Such unique' verbiage and coined phrases rivited this reader to your poem. Yes, I do agree that things aren't always as appear; ever changing, blending in colors like Prisms. How is one to know what is spoken with truth of heart and purity of thought...not just spoken for the words to be heard and not just for the moment but enduring.. I could find no nit with your write and thus all I can give you is my admiration for an exceptional offering, thank you for the read and honor of reviewing your work. Best always, Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2008-10-09 15:10:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Hi Deni...your muse continues to soar with each poem you post. It is so true that in an hour or even a second our whole world can change before our eyes. Both of us have endured the changes that alter our lives forever...but yet we go on. I am impressed with your imagery in this poem...so many lovely pictures are painted with your pen. This is a thought provoking poem and one that begs to be read more than once. Well done....blessings...M.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2008-10-09 12:15:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This could be a companion poem to my last, Between Lines. So much betrays us; it is the way of this plodding life that its ironies are almost the sole novelties of...how creatively we are betrayed. Would we count on anything..."As one hour changes;/Everything in sight." The extended imagery played in "Silver clear emotions stop bold puzzled notions,/ That smack orange moons over white feathers and/Fair friends bright light, softly floating/Over dusk waking up to midnight(')s delight." represents appreciation for the continual barrage of extra-sensory experience life hands us instead of order. Fair weather friends leaps out of the barrage from the admixture of wording as does the chronological anomaly of "dusk" at "midnight(')s delight". The sense we try to make of the non-sensical is our human condition and this is a treatment of its thankless task. Those that have "been there" will have no problem with these complexities. A few more bumps and grinds and neither will the others. Guess we've become mutual supporters. JCH
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