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The Balloon Vast space awaits his grace Helium’s breaths en route to fly Oft to drift to dissolve into high To become a part of totality Anchored gently by a bit of string Nimbly affixed to my wrist Clearly focused to abscond Via trickster's plummet twist In my behalf I enjoy him near I don’t aspire to his same desires To sail off to the far and away Expanding into life's distant blue Time pressured, course compelled Wilted he'll become ensnared Climbing no higher, soon to expire Insipid he'll be all but through Connection free upon night set Gliding house skies in search of exit Air motion's flow aided his goal He swayed out the open window As morning always shows its head Nobody remembered or ever said, “The balloon once in mind was left behind Created, sold, bought, caught, and then forgot.†|
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-03-06 11:26:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.71429
This, of all this month's offering is the poem I best liked for personal reasons. It was all I could do, to
work against personal prejudice, not to vote it #1. But it has, needlessly, too many direct statements and
you can make it better. I know I sound like a nit-picker this month but I really want to be absolutely
truthful. You and Duane make me proud though, and I wish I could express that better.
But this is a poem I would love to see you rewrite and represent us.
JCH