This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-02-23 17:06:13 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Balloon

Vast space awaits his grace Helium’s breaths en route to fly  Oft to drift to dissolve into high To become a part of totality Anchored gently by a bit of string Nimbly affixed to my wrist Clearly focused to abscond  Via trickster's plummet twist  In my behalf I enjoy him near I don’t aspire to his same desires To sail off to the far and away Expanding into life's distant blue Time pressured, course compelled Wilted he'll become ensnared  Climbing no higher, soon to expire Insipid he'll be all but through Connection free upon night set  Gliding house skies in search of exit Air motion's flow aided his goal  He swayed out the open window   As morning always shows its head  Nobody remembered or ever said, “The balloon once in mind was left behind  Created, sold, bought, caught, and then forgot.”

Copyright © February 2009 Dellena Rovito


This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-03-06 11:26:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.71429
This, of all this month's offering is the poem I best liked for personal reasons. It was all I could do, to work against personal prejudice, not to vote it #1. But it has, needlessly, too many direct statements and you can make it better. I know I sound like a nit-picker this month but I really want to be absolutely truthful. You and Duane make me proud though, and I wish I could express that better. But this is a poem I would love to see you rewrite and represent us. JCH


This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-02-23 23:12:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Hi Dellena, This made for an interesting read with some good imagery. I als liked the theme of this piece - an unassuming balloon. While the rhyme scheme was not uniform it did not detract from the flow. I'm not sure if this sort of scheme is one I'm not aware of. Nice piece. Duane.
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