This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-07-07 22:56:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Squatter

Possum hide beneath the deck Dirty beige and hissing Skulking travel under  Night's deep dark cover On the fence I've seen you An in my face scum I'm undone by size and force I'll cease to acknowledge you Perhaps then you'll be gone

Copyright © July 2009 Dellena Rovito


This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-08-02 12:04:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Wishful thinking; I've never encountered a possum; but I hear there's a run of skunks in the next town due to a factory closing down - I will be staying away from there; lol. Cute poem - fun but with a serious tone because what do you do about a possum under the deck? Wish I could give insight; but - I wouldn't be going near it. How about if I just pray your possum away? An in my face scum...priceless, blessings, Deni


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2009-07-20 10:35:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, Really enjoyed this piece for nature can be shown in the way individuals act. To hide and hope to not be seen is truly shown in this poem. Well done. Thanks, Thomas
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-07-18 23:16:04
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Dellena, reading this with a fresher persepctive, helps and I thank you for clarifying my previous mis-interpretation. I appreciate the audio and visuals - dirty beige and hissing.....You have given us a clear picture. I would still suggest a fresher way of depicting the night other than 'deep, dark cover' and it would be more appropriate if you line 2 is re-written with syntax which is what cause me to misread..."an in-my-face- scum". I like the assonance in 'gobe' and 'force'. Thanks for re-posting. Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2009-07-10 14:41:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Very attractive and amusing poem. But it makes its mark profoundly by how we grow through accepting what we have no point in warring with. The second line of the second stanza should start And instead of "An"...but no biggey. Well devised lines, "Skulking travel under/Night's deep dark cover". The light resignation in, "Perhaps then you'll be gone" is delicious. JCH
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-07-09 10:29:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Dellena This strikes me, hard. Indeed, "I'm undone by size and force": this has force in reciprocal relation to its size. I cannot cease to acknowledge this one. Nicely done. Best always, Mark
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