This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2009-09-09 21:29:14 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Mater To the vessel of the earth
I shall fall O I shall fall
return into its alchemy
and congregate with all
In the vessel of the earth
fruitful tomb O blesséd tomb
my loving soul at last possessed
by you becomes a womb
From the vessel of the earth
I shall rise O I shall rise
prove my leaf with quicking sun
and dream among the skies |
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Copyright © September 2009 Mark Andrew Hislop
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2009-10-04 02:57:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.95000
Hi Mark,
Another great write. I love the way you liken the earth to the womb of a seed which gives rise to a tree (which dreams among the skies). The whole piece ( primarily due to the first two lines of each stanza) has a very ceremonious feel to it....a cyclic celebration of life and what sustains it.
Great job !!
Duane.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2009-09-21 00:12:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Mark,
This is a hopeful poem that sets well with me.
I guess that's why I like your writing.
The earth as your mater/mother opens you up to everything possable.
It is our roots.
And to rise and grow and bloom with the mating earth with sun.....I can dream again.
Very very wonderful.
Thank you Mark for the balance.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2009-09-20 00:12:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Very spiritual write, especially like the "O", instead of "Oh", & insight to ones spirit, being here on earth.
The flow is smooth, structure tight - my favorite verse is the last - the imagery here stands out -
with
Prove my leaf with quicking sun, dream among the skies; nice blend of words; poetic & from the soul of an artist.
Great read Mark,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2009-09-11 17:26:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
MAH,
Well . . . you have me breathless for the sequel, "Pater."
Another son,
MSS
PS - did you mean "quickening"? Personally I think you meant "dicking" . . . as in, "he's dicking me over." Or is that too American?
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