This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-02-08 16:37:18 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Planting loam,
soft and seductive
slips through
bare
fingertips
tendrils
for roots
seek my touch
softly
I surrender
them
to soil
gentle breezes
pulsate
sweeping
preparation drops
from my brow
like lost secrets,
I bury
bulbs and speak
of them no more
until spring’s
ecstasy
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Copyright © February 2010 cheyenne smyth
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2010-02-19 12:38:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nice homage to the seasons - did you mean to say "preparation" drops? If intentional, it is very clever.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-02-18 09:02:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Nice poem Cheyenne - flow & meter are on target. It's a soft piece, that has unique imagery - allows the reader to absorb, and appreciate the style, and message of this poem.
Very nice, your talent is shining through.
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-02-17 00:04:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is so rich in textures, a wonderful free verse. Your choice of verbiage presents wonderful images, a oneness with the earth, sensual and intoxicating, joy and release to await ecstasy's return. Your well crafted poem moves the reader through your verse with ease as only an accomplished pen can. This is an excellent form for your choice of subject. A delightful read. no nits or spags. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-02-16 15:23:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne,
I'm into gardening too.
I like the bulbs/perennials going down under to then return in spring.
You made it a sweet sexual act.bare/touch/seeking/ecstasy.
The only thing I liked least was the dripping sweat.
Other than that touch of reality it was great!
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2010-02-10 21:10:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
There is tremendous power in language, especially when condensed down to the essentials.
You tread between tenderness and seduction on feet slippered in see-through silk pajamas.
Thank you for the dream meme.
Tom
This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2010-02-09 21:55:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Cheyenne,
A poem made for the senses - especially that of touch. It has an overall velvet feel to it and eventually erupts in the emergence of spring. It is sensual in its flavor. The poem title is simple yet apt and invites the reader into this re-creation of what would otherwise seem a mundane, routine task. Thanks for making 'planting' more interesting than the thought of just throwing sees around in the soil.
Duane.
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