This Poem was Submitted By: Joe P. OGrady On Date: 2010-04-12 12:40:37 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Magic Song

If I could have a magic pen, I'd write a song that never ends. Our timeless love would be its theme, Our hearts would make the rhyming scheme. Of you would be this magic song, Your heartbeat as the rhythm strong. Your beauty would this song inspire, A song for you, my heart's desire. If my guitar had magic strings, this song of love I'd play and sing. Your voice would be the melody, Your hand in mine, the harmony. Like tears of joy each note would fall, Each word, love's sweet bliss recalled. The love we share would set the key, And the song would never cease to be. 
Copyright © April 2010 Joe P. OGrady

This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-04-19 19:53:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Joe, This sings like a song......sweet, full to the brim with an innocent type of loving. Pure hopeful bliss. Your meter s good, rhythm nice. Title describes the poem but could be better. The power of alchemy, Bewitched.......something defining magic. Just a thought. You write a good poem! Dellena

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-04-16 11:08:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Joe, Such beautiful sentiments of love in this poem. Your structure and flow of the poem make it a pleasure for the reader to enjoy each verse as it grows in to a wonderful piece. Love, this is the real deal love, and it could actually be lyrics to a song. Music and love are always intertwined aren't they? Amazing how we can remember lyrics to songs so easily, yet find it hard to capture other memories so well. I've really enjoyed this, nice way to start off the day. My best to you, blessings, Denimari
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2010-04-15 14:24:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Joe, I think this is the first time that I have ever read your poem. And I love it! So inspiring and sweet. This is a nice tribute to your loved one. It makes me recall the sweet memories of my teenage life. Now that I have my wife, I would just kiss her and let her read this poem when I'm home. lol Thanks, Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-04-14 10:42:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joe- A beautiful piece in the old style, (so neglected). It is rhythmical and settling, while driving the passion of love forward. Suggestion, S4L2 - “Each word the bliss that I recall”. would fix the rhyme and keep your meter perfect. S4L4 – “Our song would never cease to be”, would fix the meter and keep your meaning. A very strong verse, a contender for the best of show. Thank you for sharing this piece. Few take the time to write in the old English romantic styles.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-04-12 23:52:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joe you've presented us with a love poem that has been well executed, particular attention given to meter and rhyme. Very nicely done, speaks of the riders most tender and loyal feelings for another. This reminds me of a Hallmark moment, when the reciever is bound to ou and awe over the presentation of the poem--which will remain a treasured memory in that loved one's mind. Nicely done. TC L
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-04-12 17:46:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Joe, Love poems can be difficult to write as so many have already been done. Having said that, this is a lovely poem. You have made good word choices and the rhyme and flow makes it a pleasure to read. With a little tweaking this would be a fine sonnet. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne
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