This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-04-18 21:34:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Mirror Mirror She's light of hair and skin so fair
with hope filled eyes seeking
the prize of a man to adore
her beauty, fit and fineness
From high to low nowhere
to go to find resolution
The years run long and songs
have since circled back to sad
Not a worthy man was to be had
Looking the maiden pale into
sparkle glass mirrored shine
Staring back so wistfully her
veins flow of insipid wine
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Copyright © April 2010 Dellena Rovito
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-04-24 00:51:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Dellena,
This is a wistful poem and one I enjoyed from the first line to the last. I like the malancholy flavor of your well selected words. "veins flow of insipid wine" is a wonderful line and one I wish I had thought of first. "Not a worthy man was to be had"...is so true. If one looks too hard they will miss the obvious, not a very sage remark on my part but it is most likely true. Well done.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2010-04-21 14:43:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Dellena,
A very astute look into one persons life, how time circles back on itself and what changes have occured. I enjoyed your presentation, and the casual rhyme used throughout. Your word smithing creates a colorful image in the mind; one to ponder, to contemplate, one that some of us might be able to emphathize with. In the closing you elude to there still be hope even if it might be a wistful thought. Very well done, good phrases, possibly one of your best. Wadoh--Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-04-20 09:16:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, this is a sad story. I am not sure the “insipid wine†is the reflection of self, or the assessment of opportunity.
I would take this piece, even the meter to go with your well placed rhymes. It would add a statutory power to the piece.
I can say, mirrors; for me, have been whatever the image I hold at the time I am looking. Maybe that is part of the wisdom of this piece.
The woman in the piece has high standards. I don’t know if a mere man could live up to them. Women are, as we all know- by the fact that they are women, are a superior breed. At any rate, all these years- I do hope she is getting laid. That would make the story ever so more depressing.
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