To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
All the angry women All the angry women When you let hurt go unchallenged fail to fight your battles everyday push it down and turn away the wages of silence is rage all the angry women choking on the status quo unable to surrender to comfort unwilling to fight for intimacy friends and lovers made less when we choose expediency over engagement mustn't risk the discomfort of others by revealing our selves |
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-05-27 07:45:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Moira, I love the message in this poem. The first line leads in well, "All the angry women", and there are so many - who this poem will appeal to. Holding in hurt, turn the heat up until the water is boiling to rage. I know, from experience. Great 1st verse. We have to learn to pick & choose our battles, and live with less conflict by "subtly" expressing our emotions and painful feelings to others rather than dwell till we spill over in such anger that it makes us look like lunatics.
Your 2nd verse is good, but I can see you adding/enhancing to this message - it's a bold statement but perhaps some word rearrangement would make it more clear to others who will relate.
Imagery is not necessary in this poem, it stands on it's own - both women/men should be able to understand exactly what's said in the first two verses.
The 3rd verse could use some work. I stumbled a little, like I stumble in my own writing with structure -
the clarity is there yet the impact weakens here - for the ending of such a good poem.
All in all I enjoyed this read, and the 3rd verse could be reworked without imagery and even out the flow of this poem.
blessings,
Deni