This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2010-05-27 09:23:16 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Between

Here I Stand One side a cliff to scale The other a pit to descend To climb the cliff One must face it head on Moving up requires dirt to cake under the nails Sometimes several moves upward require one back Light is seen at the top Momentum of the body continues on Roots protrude from the surface of the walls Others have laid the foundation The hand grasps gaining support The foot finds hold Perspiration rolls from the brow Difficult is the task yet progress felt To lower oneself into the pit Moods begin to change quickly The task at hand is to prevent the depth from taking hold Support is easily lost making it difficult for control Darkness is endless Strength required in maintaining the position Moss lines the walls Others have slipped to oblivion Odds are against recovery The foot unable to find hold Tears roll down the cheeks Despair enters the soul Here I stand To one side hope The other depression....

Copyright © May 2010 Thomas H. Smihula


This Poem was Critiqued By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2010-06-02 08:30:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
This is impressive. I can feel your inertia and fear at facing either alternative. Yet you can still see some hope. Needless to say, I am a fan of sparse wording as you have done with success here Thanks for submitting this KenP


This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-06-01 17:49:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Thomas, I feel both going up or coming down, what really does it matter on the journey? Everything of the unknown can beat you with fear. But onc you take that fear and eat it and consume it, it's part of who we are. High low/up down. I say ride that stallion to the finish and get on with winning the race. A winner is the one that continually works at conquering fear. Each of us in our own private way. Ride hard my good man. Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe P. OGrady On Date: 2010-05-31 10:30:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Powerful imagery. Terrific sustain metaphor. At first I expected heaven and hell but then the ending made the whole thing make sense - a battle to avoid slipping into depression by choosing to climb toward hope. Well done!
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-05-30 14:01:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Touching free verse, and captures the true intensity of emotions any one can have in life. We do give our best, to overcome the pits of life, and quietly ease ourselves through painful moments - yet I believe you have instilled hope in this poem. Hope is there if we break out of the "blues", and look for a distraction of sorts, which ever pleases us to help us through to another day. Great write in my opionion - every one of us can learn from this Thomas - blessings, Deni
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