This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2010-07-30 15:05:03 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Intact A word can fall truculent by placement
alone
Like a stalking foot-fall tapering in leaves
settled until blown
Intent holds the world intact we're told
glassine towers stalwart in bold
Twisted in a moment falling only faster
than ash
To make intent the power intact too subtle
to ask:
WHY? |
|
Copyright © July 2010 James C. Horak
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-08-06 09:24:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, so nice to see a posting.
I think what first caught me in this piece, and set the tone was your use of “truculent†right out of the gate. It darkened the piece and I think, set the stage for the finality of its message.
The fact that you named the piece “intact†seems counter to the descriptions which seem to reflect a failure of system and communication. I certainly feel your “intent†as much as I absorbed your “truculentâ€. Appling all this to the (in my opinion) the façade that cloaks the present president and congress- I get more than I bargained for. For me, their intent is cloaked in the lies they are selling. There is a difference between a fool (as some see the president) and somebody who doesn’t care about deception as long as it attains an end.
Yet I digress; but this is what your piece brings to me. I could easily take your “WHY†and say it is a local phenomena and has to do with the syntax here, or in writing as general, but I always have a difficult time reading your pieces, miss the point most the time, and would be surprised if that was the case.
I do wonder at the analogy for the glassine tower, for me; it is the card castle that is presently built in Washington, but for you? However your intent, I do agree, very quickly the wind will blow and twisting cards will disperse the evil. Yet, the wind must occur soon.
I apologize for setting this in a political vein, it just inspired me to think that way.
Very powerful piece.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-08-02 16:17:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James,
Glad to see you are intact!
Your poem is good.
I think everything 'is' because of it's intent.
we rarely if ever ask or think of the intent or purpose
of another's actions.
We would thus find the root and be able to kill it.
Of course that would ruin everything, right?
Good job.
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-08-01 21:14:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
God bless you for coming back, you have been sincerely missed! In reading this poem, I have found inspiration again, a reason to keep writing and to hone my skills even more.
James, this is by far the best poem for the month of July, and reads flawlessly in exact precise poetic style.
I would waste time, by telling you how wonderful this poem is -
in honesty my #1 fav,
in a long long time,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-07-31 14:53:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi James,
I can't begin to tell you how delighted I am to read a poem from your pen. You no doubt know the site has been limping along and doing our best to keep it alive. Now to your poem. I have read it multiple times and even though it is amgiguous to me I have decided to go with my first gut reaction. I think you are speaking about what happened a few months ago and how it almost ruined TPL. Those who live in an ivory tower, with no feelings for those who don't, spewed misplaced wrath. In the end "they" won your contest then picked themselves up, dusted the dirt off and disappeared....WHY? What was the intent? Did their power leave them intact? Having said all that, this is a well crafted poem with excellent word choices and a message that can be interpreted in more ways than one. I am probably way off base but what I have written here is the way the poem speaks to me. It will be most interesting to see how others preceive this piece. Again, I am glad to see you back and hope you will stay.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!