This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-10-29 01:15:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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This Mask I wear my skin
like a mask
I make it smile
or cry a single drop so soundless
no one knows but me
the smile
like a tourniquet for my soul
seeks to wrap me in tattered
wisps of indecision
whispers of night
threaten to undo sutures
exposing skin that bleeds raw
for words of hope
hope that unfurls sun rays
stripping away
this mask
of rue that crisscrosses
the mortuary winds
let me feel
the rigored past
and peel away
this pain
this mask
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Copyright © October 2010 cheyenne smyth
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-11-02 11:23:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.91667
Very good poem Cheyenne. I believe many of us wear masks otherwise those "happy perky peppy people", would wonder what was wrong with us. Nothing against those that seem happy all the time, but truthfully each of us are filled with emotions ranging from good to bad and sometimes masks are well fitted to any occasion.
Not per say to be phony, but to keep inside as you've written what you need to be kept inside.
Wonderful form, great message and content, precise verses that don't leave the reader doubting on the content of this poem.
I look forward to reading more from you, you make poetry "look" easy!
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2010-10-30 05:56:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hello Cheyenne
Looks like we've been reading from the same book...
I can feel this one.
Best wishes,
Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2010-10-29 16:26:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne,
Love it and so true for a lot of us. The pity is when you don't realize it nor why!
And it takes time of inward pondering to get it right.
I liked the ending rhyme it went out with a bang.
You've your own sweet halloween mask.
DELLENA
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-10-29 11:38:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Your piece brought to mind the shrink from jim carrey's movie "the mask". He spoke of exactly the images you portray here; of people living behind thier masks and the outward being subject to the inward.
the hiding of the "rigored past" is an interesting and definitive explanation for the term itself. to smile or to grieve, inside; is not necessarily the impact feature of the face. deep rifts of love and loss may dwell within- without regard to what is seen-
You also use "mortuary" and I guess there is the greatest analogy for mask; "doesn't he look peaceful", and maybe he is, but how could we know; the chances are the image is innaccurate.
A good piece, thanks for sharing.
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