This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2010-12-20 18:45:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Too Weak To Leave Hoping her words
convince her mind again
that he doesn't reek of gin
or lie about where he's been
she swears he won't hit her again
and that Satan isn't his twin.
His words are as sweet as Frank Sinatra
he promises the world
vowing the change she prays for
will take hold this time and
how she's the most important thing
in his life, he'd die without her!
Words she's heard before
until like a knife, he stays out all night.
Praying repetitive canticles may keep her going
all the chances he's continually blowing
his raging violence maniacally showing
and her spilled blood keeps flowing.
Her strength for suffering is infinite
facing another thankless day unchanging
She cleans house until it sparkles
smelling of spring
At three-thirty she gulps white wine
at four-forty she courageously faces the monster-
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Copyright © December 2010 Mark D. Kilburn
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2010-12-28 17:58:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark,
I would have sworn I critiqued this poem and was surprised to see it on my list! Must be a short term memory thing. This is an amazing write and I enjoyed every word. It seems abuse is rampant in this day and age...or is it just talked about more? You have good word selection with an even flow. Just one suggestion in your second verse lines 3 & 4 you should drop the words "for" and "and" to the next line to make for a smoother enjambment. A well written and evocative poem.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2010-12-23 10:52:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76923
Something I can unfortunately relate too - and endured for 12 years, then I woke up and said there are no do-overs and found immense courage to extricate myself and my youngest - and had I done it sooner - I wouldn't feel embarrassed over years wasted - May he RIP now - the demons did him in, yet there is so much to learn from this piece - so many stark and bold truths of how women will tolerate abuse.
Very depressing write yet - truth be told - poignant in it's own right -
It is the weakness that they prey on, and when women find the courage to take a stand - and become strong eventually they can and do move on - but are left with scars -
Excellent poem Mark,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2010-12-22 08:43:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Mark, a powerful piece re-enacted across the world. Having dealt with this situation with many people, the accuracy of your piece is uncanny.
Abuse and often murder are as disgusting a trait, a hideous example of the spirit, as you will find. Another aspect of your piece is its haunting title "Too weak to leave", which at times is also "too afraid to leave". When children are involved, the abuse tends to be heaped on the children as well.
This story is not told enough, and support for the abuser forgets, at times, what has occurred.
Thanks for the reminder this season.
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