This Poem was Submitted By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-02-12 10:07:38 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Prometheus Bound Pragmatic self, denied
The Freedom of indulgence;
Half imbibed courage
Takes charge and rushes past
This stagnant hole
Empty with wishes
Not thought out or only felt
As passing glimpses
More fragile than adjectives
Used to describe fleeting starlight,
I do sit here and ponder
What it is to wonder
Or have I enough skill
In grey matter ways awhile
The life I have mopes on by,
I still would wonder why;
This dreamy fragile starlight
Would push me aside.
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Copyright © February 2011 David Keesey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2011-03-02 20:06:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
David,
Prometheus, I assume is the writer, finds himself bound to his pragmatism, no by his pragmatism, longing to reach the unreachable, create the piece of all pieces - has he enough skill? skill to write? or perhaps skill to break free and imagine the possibilities of the unimaginable? Why, why would the dreamy fragile starlight push him aside? The writer, Prometheus is left to wonder... Perhaps I am completely off on this, and not sure my words are really describing how I interpret this piece. Regardless I love it! It gave me much to think about and imagine and of course - Imagine....may i only hope the dreamy fragile starlight will not push me aside. I like it - well done!
Mandie
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-02-28 16:21:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53846
Hi David,
This poem is laced with melancholy with good phrasing and superb and expressive word selection.
More fragile than adjectives
Used to describe fleeting starlight,
The above lines really stand out for me, describing adjectives as fragile is so creative and I wonder why I never thought of that? (smile) I am not sure I would have also used 'fragile' to describe starlight, as well. Maybe 'delicate' would work and still keep the same thought. Just my brain thinking which, of course, can be dangerous. Excellent piece.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-02-21 11:25:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Thought provoking with a hint of sadness intertwined in each verse. Great choice of verbiage as it enhances the flow of this poem without the reader having to pause through till the end. Very nicely written, unique and profound. With the melancholy tone and tight verses I would say you've written a great poem well worth sharing.
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-02-13 13:00:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
David, there is the metaphor of the title and living I believe; whereas Prometheus was bound by Zeus for his beneficial actions towards mankind, here is life binding the writer as he/she struggles to contend with the requirements of living.
The protagonist in “Prometheus Bound†struggles with friends to reach freedom and validation. In this piece the goal “starlight†is also beyond reach. In both cases there is a bit of consternation as to the actual respect that should be accorded.
An interesting and introspective piece.
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