This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-07-19 21:02:53 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Away -T- Day

Who shot the moon way too many times blackening horizons camped with dirty lies? Why sit so long until I need to plunge wicked little words splattering off evil tongues? Doubtful anyone is left to fix a sordid mess or even try to please, hand me over your head held high the keys I want it's my turn to drive!

Copyright © July 2011 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-08-01 17:09:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Hi Deni, I love this creative poem. I am not sure if I get it but I don't care as I have had fun reading it more than once. One might even call it somewhat of a rant as I feel a bit of anger in the lines. Perhaps it is the moon's fault when all is said and done. Your word choices are clever and evocative which compelled me to read and re-read. Bravo! Best wishes, cheyenne


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-07-25 19:52:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni, I have to say, I loved this poem and haven’t a clue what it is about. I will tell you what I see- and remind you; I really liked this piece- nevertheless. It seems a relationship or promises gone bad. The writer despises the inclination to speak badly, even if deserved. At any rate there seems no way out; and that brings us back to the first line where “shooting the moon” would be an improbable end to a sticky situation. In relegating the moment; the plaintiff sort of skoffs and begins to relish the freedom that is found, “it’s my turn to drive”. I know I have missed it, but after twenty readings.. I must be too daft to catch the signs. I really liked this piece.
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