This Poem was Submitted By: Kenneth R. Patton On Date: 2011-07-21 15:40:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Remember When Every so often
on days like today
I stop
and remember
The extreme anxiety of waiting
the overwhelming relief
and the soft
impenetrable
cocoon of us
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Copyright © July 2011 Kenneth R. Patton
Additional Notes:
I couldn't even remember how to submit
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-07-30 22:27:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
Oh you couldn't remember? Glad you figured it out because this is wonderful.
There is so much in this poem I ponder where to start my critique.
I can say it's the best I've read this month. It has a powerful
outstanding message - with few words takes on it's own
story of life - you've captured a great emotion in this reader,
as anxious needs refuge - like a cocoon - if only briefly we all
most def need a place to stop, pause, regroup, reflect and
move on for the better.
Delightful,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-07-28 17:21:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Hi Kenneth,
You have chosen outstanding words to express yourself in this poem. I have enjoyed reading it more than once just to feel the words and emotion they convey. I really like this short poem that says so much more than the written words.
and the soft
impenetrable
cocoon of us
The above lines are inspired and evocative. Well done.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-07-25 20:24:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Kenneth, this poem serves its purpose well. It is well written and elicits precisely the feelings from the reader that the writer also reveals.
I could take it and join those remaining here; in a collective, if you will, where the past and the future show their continuity- each dependent on the other…
or the lost loves that have faded but I recall their affectivity- maybe the drawing of a warm bath on a cold day, that makes a loofah sound more inviting than a million dollars.
All I know is your piece becomes itself in the reading of the reader.
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