This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2011-08-07 02:12:11 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Trouble in Paradise

                                                  "you have no conscience!"                                                   everyone has a conscience!"                                                   my soul shoots its roots                                                    into white soil,                                                   so no one noticed.                                                   she was noticed,                                                    blonde and tied tight.                                                   we were deceived by                                                    a crystal surface.                                                   then she fell                                                   in love,                                                   with                                                    my                                                    notebook.                                                    adam, old friend,                                                   we must speak of cunts and apples,                                                   of how the world snores and turns on its side,                                                   and hush when yeats speaks of maude gonne and auld lang syne.                                                    we will trust crane to distract the seraphim.

Copyright © August 2011 Mark Steven Scheffer


This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-09-01 00:13:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Depth is noted. A troubling fight when one digs deep to pure soil, Yes has the blonde only love for the "words" or for the person who pens them? Thought provoking -Powerful beginning because it's over said through time that "some have no conscience when science specifically proves the difference. It is where one's priority lies within each mind - where people judge if they consider or don't consider their actions. More depth and I believe you refer to "Adam", of Adam & Eve - apples gave this away - the use of the "C" word - jolts the line - yet I see that word in a lot of your writes so it has to have a powerful meaning to point out what is considered scum, in a woman's soul, which I have found out truly exists is some. I like to think I escaped that with being born of a different nature. Truly one of your best thus so far this year -and def worth reading, and when in the hell are you going to self-publish? The world is waiting to eat this up Mark. blessings, Deni


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-08-27 16:00:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Oh how satircal- and in the conversation with adam, I'd like to be privy if not a contributor. As for conscience; my ex-wife, having cheated repeatedly, filed for divorce- claiming an offense of some sort that I no longer recall- Upon retaining an attorney, a young man beginning his career- during a conversation I said "she would never do that." Looking to pack up his valice he said to me- If I am going to represent you, you will never say again "she would never". I agreed. As for conscience- my attorney was correct. Maybe yeats (never one of my favorite people) new for sure, but surely adam new for good; the draw of desire will mock us all in the end.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-08-19 13:40:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Like always a poem to contemplate on...thanks for sharing.
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