This Poem was Submitted By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2011-08-11 00:09:41 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Caught Up A head filled with the world
heart darkened, caught up
in life’s “one ups†and "who
did who"
with reckless disregard
he spat
on the old woman’s lace
She forgives him daily
as a mother’s grace will
knowing he—like all
lost souls
has yet
the
lamb to face
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Copyright © August 2011 Lora Silvey
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-09-04 10:35:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90909
Lora, the religious epitaph of this verse sort of sets out the wonderful content. I think I would have used something like "concience to face" only because I might want a wider audience, not because of affect.
This is a brillian short verse. The contrast of the parents unconditional love and the childs lack of vision or perspective is quite the picture of existence. I particularly liked the "on ups" and "who did who". It has been my policy, particularly later in life to stay out of the politics of living and the work place- (it is such an easy thing to fall into), and there is always that philosophy of the other guy that goes on.
There is another side to the old lady- that side that has come from love and patience; in as much as the harm was done, she has the perspective to allow survival and forgiveness. That only comes with wisdom. Wisdom allows perspective where other issues may fail.
Great write.
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-08-24 23:07:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Lora, much noted discontent embedded within this write as in wisdom
pours from your pen to someone who has yet to live to be reasoned
with and sets boundaries with having a closed mind to events
in life. This is what I took from this poem. I could be wrong,
yet I feel just a simmer of anger or perhaps teaching needed
to allow someone to feel your emotions that flow
and and lend the touch to a thought provoking piece.
Very nicely done,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-08-19 14:19:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Sacrifice shown throughout all that one needs is to look. Well done Lora thanks for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-08-11 15:41:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
WOW, Lora,
This is one of those poems that begs to be read several times and I have done that. It is delicious in its darkness and I won't pretend to know or understand it. I not only feel the pathos but the angst, as well. If the old woman is a mother she will fotgive no matter how long it takes. This poem won't be easy to forget. Well done and standing ovation for you.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
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