This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-08-21 03:32:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Landing Space

Tempting? Live wild within a lengthy trance  where matters come; go destined to never know   the facts or premature ideas of anything in life. Just as water follows into what ever shape  peaceful pleasant short lived escape.

Copyright © August 2011 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2011-09-03 14:54:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Hi Deni, Yes it is tempting to live wild without chains or ropes that hold us in check. Your last two kines are expecially powerful. This short poem says so much more that lies between the lines. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-08-28 15:21:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Deni, I understand the metaphor; and if I see it correctly instead of coming down hard, one comes down easy- and it is important to find a soft landing. Ideas, destiny- and amorphous water have provided the only opportunity; which means it may or may not be available for the “short lived escape”. But if it is, find it and be thankful. I am not sure I am willing to cede that much control to destiny. I think Calvin and Augustine might understand it all better, but Pelagius would still have found that most of the time; “the bed that is made was created in self made destinies”. Anyway, I always like to think- and maybe destiny is more closed than I think. One thing is clear- I’d sure like to blame it all on something else.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-08-21 17:38:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Thoughts to focus on some of the best poetry written in this manner. Excellent job you have my mind working on this one. Thanks for sharing as always.
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