This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-08-27 03:30:42 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!
Give Yourself A Break Gather your
conscience with
your soul
lay out
your life years in a row.
Cards that were dealt
are all you've sewn
you are the only
one who knows
of your sins
as your past goes.
Be honest
in this game
never feel
any meaningless
shame.
Forgiveness is yours today;
"God" said it in all divine ways.
Free your mind
clear with
wasting no time.
Relevant is irrelevant
at the end of a wish
that never came true;
Bells chiming after mass go only where "God" leads you to.
|
|
Copyright © August 2011 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2011-09-06 06:54:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
A break where you are refreshed with God's presence. Thank you DeniMari for enriching this reader's soul! :) Nice to be back here at TPL! God bless!
This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2011-09-04 19:29:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92857
DeniMari I like the thoughts expressed yet the flow seemed off to this reader. I paused when I didn't want to and expected one but the words continued to move on in other parts. Good example for me was "Be Honest!" in thus game never feel, any meaningless shame... just a thought.
Thanks for sharing.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-08-27 16:04:14
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
The break cited, that of the divine resounds for the searching for redemption.
The break received is easily the personal forgiveness one grants oneself. To live with burdens is to lose a portion of the soul each day.
I believe there is an intuitive message in your writing- one of recognizing the reality of who you are; and finding peace with it.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link
Click HERE to
return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!