This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2011-10-15 21:02:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Bending Physics High up, 180 feet...they didn't care about the bars
let the condemned look up, fully see the stars
overhead
Not even to hear that grating noise nor pause
to check sounds of metal on stone for cause
The shroud of night, only witness to the moon
a fall magnificent held in mystery to this day
Not even a drop of blood upon cobblestone
nor trace of how the prisoner went his way
We may ponder, inelegantly guess
try ourselves imagine some wish-in-flight test
But this poet yearns with his hope unchecked
The prisoner in the tower held gravity the judge
of his innocence |
|
Copyright © October 2011 James C. Horak
Additional Notes:
True story, a young man in the Bastille waiting his turn for Monsieur de Paris (the guillotine.)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2011-10-29 19:06:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
James,
All I can think of is the Guantanamo Deception: Hundreds of Innocents Jailed!
I'm probably off but I try.
Drat I just saw your note. The advertising covers it up almost.
The Bastille was a medieval fortress-prison. [that doesn't exist anymore]?
Hope all is good for you and yours.
It feels like something is in the air. Hopefully not.
Best wishes...
Dellena
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-10-24 14:33:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A nice little ballad. I am sure, with the long lines for the chopping block, the jump must have looked more and more inviting each day.
I'd like to know a reference for the story, a name, or something, it is a story worth telling. The 180 foot drop, must have been an amazing feat, if indeed he survived.
I think I would have like a few words in your piece that exacted the horror of the guillotine, in emotional or colorful tone. The time for that machine was an awful time, and many innnocent were murdered by thier government. Revolution indeed, call it the French extermination.
Anyway, an interesing look at something I had no knowledge of.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2011-10-22 08:40:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
James,
Superb.
The Ghost of Fall is stirring up the leaves, and something has been at work in you lo these few seasons since we last "met."
MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Latorial D. Faison On Date: 2011-10-18 15:59:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, I particularly like the last two lines of this poem, the way that they read. I like that I didn't have to guess with this poem. I could simply enjoy the way that you chose to poetically tell the story. I like that the lines and stanzas, and the forms of them, seem to shift. I could almost pick up a dialect in the words. I'm not sure if that was your intent, but it certainly goes over well with the location of the subject matter covered here.
Your visual cues in the selection are great. I could actually picture the cobblestone, almost imagine the atmosphere, the time of day, etc. Just as clever, I thought, was the title, "Bending Physics." It helps to bring more mystery to what actually takes place in the poem, how it's done so well. Thanks for sharing.
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