This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2011-12-09 08:09:10 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


The Haunts of Death

When and where do these nightmares end; or the dawn brings more than just pretend. Are these hearts mended as splendor slips in - or can it not ever begin. When the souls have held too much pain will a joyful life ever come again?

Copyright © December 2011 DeniMari Z.

Additional Notes:
Missing Shaun this morning - every morning - for much too long. Realizing that the grief process over the loss of a child is endless. I've compared my healing growth with other women who lost adult children the same time I lost my oldest son and it seems we are all at the same level which is not great. I've also read something that stands out and wanted to share here. There seems to be a word that describes a person who has lost someone they love in life - such as widow, widower, etc. but there is not one single word to describe a grieving mother. Not one word.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2011-12-18 14:22:49
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Deni, one cannot stand in for such as you. It is more atune to the song "jesus walked that lonesome valley, he had to walk it all alone" and the on to "We must walk this lonesome valley, We have to walk it by ourselves; O, nobody else can walk it for us, We have to walk it by ourselves" The point of the piece, the grieving of the mother- (you) and yet there is also a fallacy to the lyric. It does speak of only the internal journey- for who can take that from us? Yet there is the external- of those who care. Those who care even when a person doesn’t know they care. And of course, the deity, seemingly silent at times. You spur me on to create, not only a response to the grieving of the mother, the lover of her son, but also to make aware that moment. sometimes we like to say “you will find joy again, time will temper the pain” and there is again truth to the saying, as a enjoinder to you line “will a joyful life ever come again”. But also there is that time; when the memory, love and grief take us for a revisit- and I can tell you walked that lonesome road once again. The thing is; it may not matter in the scheme of things, but in your moment, externally, you are never alone.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2011-12-15 03:37:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
So well put Deni, yes--one does wonder where it starts and ends or if it is just one continuous game of survival--albeit nothing more. I join your thoughts too often...the child that is missing--a hollow that will not be filled no matter the time, yes--so different from the loss of a mate and the existing sometimes seems so endless. You've described the feelings with great clarity and gave us a peek into the realm of deep loss. God bless. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: David Keesey On Date: 2011-12-11 10:43:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: Unknown
Demi, nice metre. I love the consonance and the way the lines flow. I suggest changing the first "ever" to "even" to get one more "n" in there and strengthen the next "ever" in the last line. An excellent voice that grieves. Sometimes the greatest pain gives rise to on'e voice. So sorry for your loss. Kind regards. David
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kay C Steward On Date: 2011-12-10 08:29:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
You wrote from your heart with the pain that is endless and yes, there is no other pain equal to losing your child. I have a few suggestions (with respect) "When and how do these nightmares end? Will the dawn bring you back, or pretend. Are our hearts mended with time to begin again? Our souls hold too much pain. Will joy return to mend our broken selves, to live again?
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!