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End of your Rainbow Don't draw that line in the sand again Crossing it means nothing As I stretch out a hand to erase it You move a few feet beyond my reach Preparing to draw another one You took all of your treasures with you I want to resist but follow anyway Desperate to reach that elusive prize Pot of gold at the end of your rainbow I've no lucky clover, and my eyes are color blind Black and white is all that I visualize Left alone in my cold aura of grey Too tired to go on but craving each new start Hoping Praying Crying out Exhausted to the point of dispair Why bother? Vibrance of color and riches are really overrated anyway |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-01-07 10:39:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.81818
Kimberly, I have the urge to generalize this piece to the search of dreams and aspirations, beyond the personal influence you wield in it.
I know all have had that moment of hope, to find the “pot of gold†if you will, is far more tarnished or even absent, when the time has come.
Colors are a particularly emotional aspect- as is the contrasting of full color to “black and whiteâ€. The “cravingâ€, as you surmise, only increases as “despair†takes hold. You made a point in your simile, (I believe) to discolor the dream (rainbow) but not eliminate it from the perspective.
You final satirical line sets the entire piece into order. A well ended verse.